PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

3 entrys about the same fuckstick

Thursday, Apr. 08, 2004
"Friendship does not mean the same thing to them. They'll use the word love a lot, but they really don't know what love means. They've never properly experienced it," he said.

The above statement completely puts so many pieces of an unsolved puzzle together. He�s truly a messed up person and in effect I was as messed up to allow him into my life. This is a fearful realization. The things we ourselves allow to enter into our circle. I feel relief and a greater understanding. And the bottom line is he will never change. I cannot change him, the new �she� cannot change him and in fact she�s in the honeymoon stages of his wonderful personable side, wait until she wakes up one morning to see him rivaling through her wallet, selling her things�all in the name of his immediate self gratification. There are so many aspects to all of this information that relieves my mind from all of those �if I had just done this�..� and �if I had just done that�� notions I always had.

Those thoughts are gone. Completely gone. Regardless of my actions, the marriage and that man were doomed to a lifetime of inadequately processing wrong and right in this world, as most of us know it. I always thought of that word �psychopath� as a mean derogatory name calling type of word. I was clearly wrong about that. He is truly a psychopath in every sense of the definition and terminology. My psychiatrist once told me he was narcissistic. I thought that was a very accurate definition of who and what my ex is. When you put it all together, I was once married to a psychopathic narcissist.

No fucking wonder I struggle to be well.

nar�cis�sism (n�r s -s z m) also nar�cism (-s z m) n.

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or
self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of
development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.




After 3 entries...I'm done with this subject.
9:08 a.m. ::
prev :: next