Everyday things were so mundane before you. Now sometimes at night when I wake up I stop myself and listen to you breathing next to me. I feel the weight of the world wash away and all is calm simply because you are there. Usually Chloe stir�s around because she senses my being awake and in those brief moments I realize just how good life is. It is peaceful and real and I never fear for what might happen to us. I always know that we can endure and thrive and stay strong together, because that�s what we�ve always done.

When I have my crazy moments of personal doubt I remember a certain night when we stood under a streetlight and I couldn�t bear to walk away or see you walk away. I remember that night because it was so real and so honest and so powerful for me. It was that night when the world saw us as separated, fractured, amiss�. That night that I realized we were truly one already. I saw how my pain bounced not off of you but fell within you.

There are those that would say I am over the top and crazy and chaotic and grouchy and unreasonable. They would not be wrong. I am all of those things, but less so since you. So far less so because of you.

Today driving home planning my scavenger hunt for you, the excitement I felt was powerful. I�ve never wanted to surprise someone, please someone, see someone be thrilled by a gift, at least not since my son was a toddler. :-)

I want to say the things that I feel but there are no words. There is only�