cluttering the net since 2001

Dear Birthday Boy (take 1)

Thursday, Nov. 02, 2006

I know that I don’t say it often enough or loud enough or even clear enough because I have those sorts of issues, but I love you. My life is so removed from what it once was. It really has been upgraded to happier v.2 since you arrived.

Everyday things were so mundane before you. Now sometimes at night when I wake up I stop myself and listen to you breathing next to me. I feel the weight of the world wash away and all is calm simply because you are there. Usually Chloe stir’s around because she senses my being awake and in those brief moments I realize just how good life is. It is peaceful and real and I never fear for what might happen to us. I always know that we can endure and thrive and stay strong together, because that’s what we’ve always done.

When I have my crazy moments of personal doubt I remember a certain night when we stood under a streetlight and I couldn’t bear to walk away or see you walk away. I remember that night because it was so real and so honest and so powerful for me. It was that night when the world saw us as separated, fractured, amiss…. That night that I realized we were truly one already. I saw how my pain bounced not off of you but fell within you.

There are those that would say I am over the top and crazy and chaotic and grouchy and unreasonable. They would not be wrong. I am all of those things, but less so since you. So far less so because of you.

Today driving home planning my scavenger hunt for you, the excitement I felt was powerful. I’ve never wanted to surprise someone, please someone, see someone be thrilled by a gift, at least not since my son was a toddler. :-)

I want to say the things that I feel but there are no words. There is only…

Happy Birthday honey…..I hope you love your gift.

4:52 p.m. ::
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