cluttering the net since 2001

I love him...

Monday, Jan. 21, 2002

"A life where there is love is often messy. Life without love is neater, but neatness is really preferable only in bathrooms and written reports."
From The Dance: Moving to the Rhythms of Your True Self
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I love that quote…its exactly how I feel. I don't want a "neat" heart.

Last night Carrie lost Aidan Shaw… I had to wipe tears over that one. What a messed up chick she is. I know they portray her like she’s a good person, but she’s definitely selfish. It’s just a show, but damn I’m gonna miss Aidan. I’m gonna miss him lots. Aidan is just like “him”. Personalities are so similar.

“He’s” been watching Sex in the City with me for about a year now. He’s gotten to where he reminds me that its on when its on. I think that’s so cute. He refers to it as “Sluts in the City” and said that Aidan was better off without Carrie because Aidan didn’t know how many guys she slept with to date. He’s so old fashioned. I love that about him.

I know that he would never cheat on me, he would never just dump out with no reason, no warning. I think the one big thing he and I have completely figured out..is communication.

He called me…to ask me for a phone number that he turned around and had anyways… I said “am I your personal secretary? And how did I get that job?” He said “I wanted you to have it.” Something about it, when he and I talk about normal life things…feels so completely right.

I think that the "easy" answer is to say goodbye. The answer I want is to continue to try. To try harder and longer than I've ever fought for anything in my life. Because its the most real thing I've ever known.


You treat me like chocolate
Something you shouldn't touch between meals
Instead of having at it
Simply express the way you feel
Finesse is not this time
This time it just stares you in the face
This time it could be critical
To wake your living heart from its resting place
Oh I'm specific and I'm cruel
Your fool

12:56 p.m. ::
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