cluttering the net since 2001

Reason #984,122,111,023 that I pick Rick.

Saturday, May. 21, 2005
I must write this entry today while all of the emotions are fresh in my head. Since my ex-husband moved there’s been a huge issue regarding what school my son will now attend. He can remain in the same awesome school if he were to list his address as living with Mom. This is not illegal because we share joint custody. The school district already advised me that it matters not where he physically lives when there are two joint custody sharing parents involved that both live in the county.

My ex seems to think it’s quite ok for a child to be uprooted from his home and school every year to year and a half. My son has already attended more schools in his relatively young life than some children that are in military oriented homes. It’s insane and I don’t like it. I went to the same school district in the same town my entire life and I think it’s best if you can do something close to that. I don’t think it’s bad for him to have had some of these changes but now it’s beginning to border insanity how many times he’s moved around and moved schools and had to make new friends every single year. He’s a friendly kid and has not had issue with this but it’s sad that he’s not been able to really hang onto any friendships because as soon as he makes friends with the neighbors, schoolmates…etc…he has to move and start all over again.

So, I feel that he should continue to go to the same school and we should list his primary address as mine since I haven’t moved out of that school district since we separated. (Who’s the more stable person here????) My ex (who works for himself…and HAS no boss or schedule that is concrete) states that he can’t pick up my son from that school at dismissal time as he would have to because my son can’t ride the bus to Daddy’s house because it’s not in the same district. So I am prepared to offer up the solution that my ex takes my son to school daily and that my son rides the bus home to my apartment after school every day where my ex can come and retrieve him from there daily. However, Rick and I discussed the matter of my ex having full access to our home because my son would have to be given a key in order to gain entry while I am still at work until 6:15 daily. We’re ok with that but we hesitate….my ex is not trustable.

While discussing the entire matter I expressed my frustration of having my ex having had told me for the last several years basically how it was all going to be because of my financial situation and my choices to forgo certain things in order for the betterment of my future and my education. Yes, these are choices and I’m struggling with the consequences of my choices even though I still don’t feel that I’ve made bad choices I still struggle with the sacrifices. So…I digress…last night while discussing the matter Rick asked if there were any before or after school programs that we could place my son in to alleviate my ex’s excuses for not being able to keep my son in what Rick and I agree is the more desirable location for my son to remain rather than make a change. (The school is also a brand new school with a good reputation, a school where my son first reached the ability to gain the honor roll status…I believe because he likes it there!!) And I expressed that I can’t afford to pay for a before school or after school program and that while my ex was court ordered to pay for this..he had decided long ago to forgo this because he’s just a shit heel who doesn’t follow the court order. (Yes…some asscrack will come tell me how I don’t either…so skip it…I’m aware.) His choice not to follow the court order has to do with “he’d rather buy himself stuff than provide needed things for my son….whereas my choice is to better myself so I can put a complete end to these issues for my son one day. Sacrifice now for the success of tomorrow.

I digressed yet AGAIN…..while speaking about all of this last night…Rick….looked at me and asked me approximately what most before school and after school programs cost and I told him and he said, “Call your ex-husband and tell him that I WILL PAY for it….” I said, “What??? Are you sure about this??” He said, “Yes…it’s not that much and I think he should stay in his same school..I think you’re right..it’s the best for him.”

I have not approached my ex about this matter as of yet because he’s not out of bed yet this morning. I can’t wait to hear him stammer like the gaping hole of intelligence that he is because how can he actually admit that his reasoning has to do with his inconvenance factor more than it has to do with anything else. My son staying in this school means that his personal wishes are compromised. I can’t wait to basically inform him that my son’s future stepfather cares more about my son’s welfare and best interests than his real father.

I spoke to my son last night at great length while going to the grocery store to load up on Salt and Vinegar chips, canned ravioli and every other “my kid loves it” food. I asked him what school he wanted to go to. He hedged and said, “Daddy says the new school is cool and I’ll like it better but my friends are at my other school and I’ve already been to how many schools, I’m tired of making new friends and starting all over again.” I told him that Rick was willing to pay for after school care or before school care or whatever his Father’s excuses were. My son got a huge surprised look on his face when he realized that Mommy and Rick could fix it all so that he could remain in the school he’s happy with and said, “I want to go to my SAME school..ok?????”

So…we shall see.

Reason #984,122,111,023 that I pick Rick.
9:41 a.m. ::
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