cluttering the net since 2001


Thursday, Jan. 24, 2002
I spoke to husband about this “abandonment” issue. We are going to “our” attorney and having something legal drawn up stating that we are in agreement for “joint” custody and that we both agree that I am moving out but will still carry 50% of the load of child rearing. After all, I will be going to the house every morning to get Bucky ready for school. I have to be there at 5 a.m. to accomplish this goal. This will be quite a taxing proposition everyday.

He told me that he doesn’t want a divorce. That he wants me to go find myself. Go figure out why I’m so unhappy and to work out my own issues. (here we go again…I’m the one that fucked up? NOT!!!) He told me “I still love you…I want you to be happy”. I remember saying those words to him last year when I was scared.

I’m not scared anymore…..

Thanks for calling me today my dark friend. I needed to hear a friendly voice of concern. And thanks to the person that sent me the email telling me about “abandonment” as an issue. It will be dealt with properly. But I am still the one moving out. Bucky is better off in that house, going to that school….living his life. And anyone that doesn’t understand my decision…..fuck off! But thanks for the concerns before you do….. ;-)


My hopes are inside a meeting with abandonment.
I have nothing to bet on anymore.
Directing my turn towards the light,
Betting on gentleness and realization.
If I isolate my thoughts,
I would isolate myself.
Fate could be closing
The expired date of my abandonment.
The bond inside my own unconsiousness
Keeps me going.

-Anime – Get the Mind
5:06 p.m. ::
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