PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

a bigger flirt than me

Sunday, Aug. 18, 2002
Here’s the thing. Tonight I was in a pretty good mood. The walls weren’t sighing and I was doing ok. I was hanging tight all alone. Reading through my notes and planning my attack on my book. I have come to realize that the only way I am going to find myself is by giving myself the things I have for so long not allowed myself to believe I could do.

Success comes from letting go. Letting go of what? Letting go of my notion that I will fail. Time is a gift. I have time.

So while I was sitting around feeling happy already….along came love..

t: do I see cleavage?

me: nope

t: why not?

me: i have a crappy old t-shirt on

me: cause I don't sit around looking all sexy just "in case" you are around...

t: let me tear that off for ya

t: then why are you doing it now?

me: i'm not

me: geesh

t: I know.....

t: you cant help it

me: oh yeah I can

t: nope

me: you're just delusional

t: I can see that now

me: too many hours away from reality

t: nope no dilusions here ....only of grandure

me: teehee

me: ok ok

me: so tonight i bought a new cd...just cause...get this...

me: oh forget the damn song thing

t: ok

me: look at you

me: c'mere

~~~~~~~~

me: omg look at that

t: what was someone behind me?

me: even if there was i’d never see that

me: the whole army could walk across behind you and I'd miss it

t: becasue of my fat head?

me: nope

me: because my eyes are glued to YOU

t: because of my inflated ego?

me: nope

me: you don't have an ego

me: because i got it bad for you

me: thats why

me: i'd never notice anything behind you

t: yes I do have one

me: you have an ego?

t: yep

me: c'mon...

t: ;-)

t: shall I show you?

t: ;-)

me: lol yes

me: show me your ego

t: it is a big one too

me: i can't even type...

me: geesh

t: if I was going to tease...

t: id do this...

me: yeah that works

me: holy man

t: or this..

me: OMGGG

~~~~~~~~

me: believe me you just think you wanna do stuff to my body because you can't really see it

t: hmpft

me: its true

t: I dont believe it...

me: i know you don't because you choose not to hear me

t: and why dont you believe me

t: nope...

me: because I know reality

t: not listening

t: LALALALALALAL

t: LALALALALA

me: well you should

t: <-covers ears

me: grrrr

t: LALALAL

t: LALALALALALLA

t: LALALALALALLAAL

me: hang on

me: and don't look at my butt

t: LALLALALALALALALLA

t: oh YES

me: what?

t: I got a glimpse

me: of what?

me: you think you did

me: light

me: i just wanted light

t: you are right..

t: i didnt

t: show me again then

t: but slower

me: there's nothing so great to see

t: please

me: what does t wanna see?

t: pleeeeeeeeaaaaase

t: *shrugs*

me: i can go stand somewhere and you can gawk at me only this time look hard cause you're dillusional

me: k

t: ;-)

t: <----ready to gawk

me: look at that big grin all cause I'm gonna stand somewhere

me: hmm

me: my cam is so blurry

me: i need a new one

me: i'm gonna stand close

me: to that table

me: gawk

me: look at chubby girl

t: <---gawking already

me: and get an engraved image

me: of reality

me: i mean seriously t

me: get it through your head

me: i'm not your little sex goddess

me: ok here goes

t: mmmmm

t: yes!

t: OMG....

me: shut up

t: what

me: there's nothing so great to see

me: look dang it

t: yes there is

t: OMG

me: stop that

me: no there isn't

t: I am getting hard just seeing you

me: baloney

t: yep a big hard salami

t: that is right

me: if you're hard its cause you're a walking tripod

me: has nothing to do with me

t: nope...

me: c'mon

t: Kristy ...

me: what?

t: I am going to be blunt here K

me: ok

t: I dont like stick chics

me: yeah I know you said that before

t: I like my women with some meat on their bones

me: lol my body could fund a deli

me: lol

t: funny

me: truth

me: not funny

t: you know what they say...

t: cushion for the pushin

me: here we go the standard line for chubby chicks to hear

t: ;-(

me: i knew that line was coming

me: i'm just saying

t: lol

me: you kill me how you sit and say you think i'd not want to touch you cause of whatever those things are that you list

me: as if

me: give me a break

me: i close my eyes and I just want nothing more than you next to me

t: why?

me: because I want you right there

me: just to know you were right there

me: is enough

me: get that through your head ok?

me: but t...i want all of you....

t: even the big ...

t: belly?

me: good lord

me: the stuff you think and say

me: don't you get it yet?

t: nope....

me: if you couldn't even touch me and I couldn't even touch you

me: i still love you

t: I havent gotten any thing in months

me: i love you and i've never touched you

t: I love you and I am going to touch you!

t: more than once...

~~~~~

t: so hypothetical situation...

me: ok...

me: ask

t: what if just one day after work...

t: you just came out and there were flowers and a note from me on your car?

t: how tight is the security there?

me: i think i'd start to shake and cry...and look all around for you...

me: theres no security...lol

t: and the addr...oh nevermind...

t: i’ll find it

t: so how is the weather....

me: you really want to know about the weather?

t: nice day to drive a round in your blue '94 mustang?

me: lol

me: no

me: it rained

me: mostly all day

me: and I don't really drive the mustang

t: with tag number FL123-5

me: i drive the nissan

t: nissan...

me: lol that's not the tag number

t: which one is that

me: which one is what?

t: nissan

me: i've been driving the nissan z

me: he bought the mustang

me: i've been driving what he used to drive

t: the nissan with T-top?

me: yes

t: tag number FL 234-6?

me: i don't know if that's the tag number

t: lol

me: i dont' know what the tag even is

t: ok

me: but I don't think theres a FL in it

me: lol

t: lol

t: ok

me: why are you asking?

t: just trying to know you as best that I can

me: c'mon

me: i don't believe that

t: ;-)

t: really

me: you have a reason

t: nope

t: no reason

me: knowing what car I'm driving means nothing

t: reason

t: sure it does...

t: do you like driving it?

me: lol

me: its what I call a "pussy" car

me: its a dudes car

t: is it now...really

me: its the car you want when your'e a 16 yr old boy

t: should I get one then?

me: a pot smoking floridian 16 yr old boy

t: call you up and ask...

t: can I come by in my Nissan z and pick you up

me: you don't even need a car

me: walk...crawl.....just show up

me: and you can have it

t: really?

me: yeah

~~~~~~~~

me: i'm sick of people telling me you’re not real

me: just cause of your location right now

t: lol

t: dont people know there is a war going on?

me: lol nope they don't seem to know baby

me: i'm acutely aware

me: but thing that's odd

me: I was acutely aware before I met you

t: and even the sexually endowed soldiers have to go

me: lol

t: ;-)

me: damn it

t: what?

me: there should be a “big” exclusion

t: nope...

me: well ...

me: heres what I truly think about it

t: whats that

me: you're over there doing your job

t: go on

me: you like your job

t: yep

t: yes i do

me: i don't want to ever change things in your life that you like

t: ;-)

me: yeah its scary

me: i'm in love with a guy that's never in one place too long

me: i just hope you like me this much after..

t: ;-)

t: why wouldn't I

me: there are just no guarantees in life

me: there is now

me: and right now feels really cool

t: but we will have fun finding out right

me: of course

t: good...

~~~~~~~~~~

me: i heard this song tonight at that store

t: ok

me: it gave me that same sort of happy feeling down to my toes that you give me

t: so are you telling me you dont need me anymore ?

t: ;-)

me: t?

me: i don't NEED you

t: yes Kristy

me: I want you

t: ;-)

t: good...

t: that is better for yah

me: i want you like you can't even imagine

t: I got a pretty good imagination

t: though

me: but if you don't want me back....that's ok too

me: it has to be ok

me: that's how life is

me: if you don't....someone will

t: Kristy...

t: when will you understand

me: what?

t: weather you like it or not....

t: I want you....in ways that you never thought of

t: ;-)

me: i'm not afraid

me: i'm just waiting

t: Goood

Just a note….neither of us ever shows any dang skin…we just love to flirt….make faces and make each other say “OMG” a lot…. He’s a big huge flirt…just like me. When I say OMG he’s putting his face all close to his cam…..eyes in the cam…looking intently….with those bedroom blue eyes……they are OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't understand what he sees in me...

1:29 a.m. ::
prev :: next