cluttering the net since 2001

3 days of ahhhh Tuesdays of blahhh

Tuesday, May. 28, 2002
Itís Tuesday morning and despite my previous thinking last night that I was ready to go back to work, I feel now that I was too quick to judge and would like to request a few more days off.

Actually, maybe I am readyÖ.

Last nights convo was strange, but after I had that chat and updated my diary, I went straight to bed and made love to the man. I think I wanted to make sure he would still want me. He did. He does. He held me all night afterwards.

The last few weeks have been nutso in my mind because I keep thinking about something and wondering why Iím heading down the same path I have traveled before and why I think that the outcome would be different.

Wasnít it "him" who taught me that action = reaction and the same action gets the same results? He was right. I hate to ever admit now that he was or could have been right but on certain things he was. I guess even jerks have something worthwhile to say. But who knows, maybe I am still wrong.

Regardless I have decided to put this stuff out of my mind and not build anything up in my mind. Those are the hardest little thought castles to destroy later. They gain strength from rethinking the same trains of thought and then you canít bully them out with anything. So Iím not going to build it up.

Instead, I am looking forward to the concert, I am writing my bookÖ(yeah I finally startedÖ.Iím on chapter twoÖ) And Iím going to plaster a smile on my face til it sticks there automatically.

*yawn* Damn Iím so tiredÖ.


Well maybe I donít want to take advice from fools
Iíll just figure everything is cool
Until I hear it from you
Until I hear it from you
I canít let it get me off
Or break up my train of thought
As far as I know, nothingís wrong
Until I hear it from you
-Gin Blossoms
7:42 a.m. ::
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