nothing but a lie that I keep sleeping on
Saturday, Apr. 20, 2002
I'm not allowed to come online anymore????�him�: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ONLINE!!
PoeticaL: trying to divert my thoughts....just like 9.9 million other people
�him�: is it working
PoeticaL: does it ever?
�him�: i dont know i dont ever do that
PoeticaL: good because it doesn't work
�him�: ok
�him�: i need to run
PoeticaL: bye
Well �him� thinks I was going to the Cayman Islands to see David this weekend...David who's moved there. David who is now my boyfriend. In all actuality I haven't talked to David since the night I met him at the bookstore. But I've written a large and lengthy fictionlized story that I'm currently reading to �him� on a every so many day's basis. I must have the ability to write....because he buys it entirely and �him� talks about the "kind of person" that David is. And I don't know the "kind of person" any guy I met only once is. I've fabricated....entirely because he said the words "my girlfriend" to me and I can't bear it.
Yes tell me how pathetic I am. What a liar I am. Have at it. But remember that love....at it's truest and most brutal makes us evil. Truly evil.
Had I told �him� I went back to husband he would have ripped me into shreds. And besides. If his love was ever real I would be with him. And this would never have happened. I did everything he asked.....
