cluttering the net since 2001

nothing but a lie that I keep sleeping on

Saturday, Apr. 20, 2002
I'm not allowed to come online anymore????

PoeticaL: trying to divert my thoughts....just like 9.9 million other people
“him”: is it working
PoeticaL: does it ever?
“him”: i dont know i dont ever do that
PoeticaL: good because it doesn't work
“him”: ok
“him”: i need to run
PoeticaL: bye

Well “him” thinks I was going to the Cayman Islands to see David this weekend...David who's moved there. David who is now my boyfriend. In all actuality I haven't talked to David since the night I met him at the bookstore. But I've written a large and lengthy fictionlized story that I'm currently reading to “him” on a every so many day's basis. I must have the ability to write....because he buys it entirely and “him” talks about the "kind of person" that David is. And I don't know the "kind of person" any guy I met only once is. I've fabricated....entirely because he said the words "my girlfriend" to me and I can't bear it.

Yes tell me how pathetic I am. What a liar I am. Have at it. But remember that love....at it's truest and most brutal makes us evil. Truly evil.

Had I told “him” I went back to husband he would have ripped me into shreds. And besides. If his love was ever real I would be with him. And this would never have happened. I did everything he asked.....
3:53 p.m. ::
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