cluttering the net since 2001

all day..all night...falling asleep together

Monday, Aug. 05, 2002
He is all things sweet. All things you read on pages in fairy tales. He is all of those things, and even if he goes away I am knee deep in him. I am happy. Even if it ends. I am happy now and I won’t ever regret him. I won’t let it turn ugly. If it veers off I’m getting off this ride and saying “thanks for making me feel special for awhile…take a good memory of me into your future and always look back at the good times…be safe…be happy…..” and I will let go.

it’s not easy to always get a good voice internet connection from USA to Afghanistan and when he does….his first words…

”Kristy…do you now what it does to me just to say your name? Every time I say it I can taste the sweetness"

I talked to ‘t’ about Mad, my best-est bud….I did my best to explain what others don’t understand. How Mad’s always been in my corner. How he’s the best friend I’ve ever had… How much I love him and why. And…. I did this because anyone that wants to be close to me ever has got to understand that I have this connection with Mad that I’m just not giving up for anyone or anything. He’s been there too many times when no one else has been. And I’ll never turn my back on him.

me: do I love this guy?
me: yeah like a brother, like my friend, like my everything
me: i just want to see him happy
me: hes had a hard time mostly, just like me
t: make sure that you let him know that I think he is all that!
me: awwww...
me: what a kewl thing to say

Someone that just wants everyone to treat you special? Someone that wants your world to be happy and bright? Wow… I just sit here typing and I’m close to tears. He’s so beautiful. So amazingly beautiful.

‘t’ started a diary. He came to me asking for help. He said he was thinking of it. Now, ‘t’s’ not a writer. He’s a Army guy..*grunt* *grunt* big tough guy. Not. But he wants to understand and write for me. He wants to be a part of something that is me. I love that I am having affect on him. That he is somehow changing and opening up to who I am. Not just me wanting to or trying to understand another person and being left to myself without that person wanting that same thing from me.

By the way Bijou..he dug ya quixotical thought. Asked about my guestage moment there. Thought it was all "true true". He reads that joint every day religiously. And I love that he does that for me.

Then he’s so tired he falls asleep rather than tell me goodbye…. I remember those days of getting bitched at because I wanted to ask a question during exercise time with someone else and it blows me away to think I put up with that.

t: hello
me: hi
t: sorry..
t: i dozed off
me: i figured as much
me: you were tired
me: its ok
me: its tiring to keep staring at words on a screen for 7 hours too
t: no it is not ok
t: I fell alseep on my baby
me: awww thats ok though
me: i understand
t: but maybe I should get going baby
t: hello baby
me: yeah... its ok
me: you can
me: I'm ok
t: but I didn't get to tell you that
t: I love you Kristy
me: awww I love you right front t
t: ;-)
me: so be safe..get some sleep as soon as you can....
me: k?
t: ok love
t: i will talk to you soon then ok
me: yup
me: hey
me: thanks for spending the day with me...
t: ;-)
me: xoxoxoxoxo
me: i had fun
me: and i appreciate it
t: xoxoxoxo
me: yeahhhhh
me: ok go...
t: it wasn't any thing
me: it was to me
t: ;-)
me: just be safe
me: smile
t: buh bye love
me: and get some sleep
me: bye bye
t: ok
t: ;-)
me: g'night

I’m tired…so g’night everyone.

1:23 a.m. ::
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