PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

k a r m a

Monday, Aug. 04, 2003
Yeah I have word I have word on the pc now. Yeah!!! *jumping up and down* If you go without something for 6 months or so, when it returns to your life, you are quite gleeful. Trust me.

Boyfriend is watching a forensic evidence show. I love those shows. I don�t know if he ever watched them pre-me but he watches them now.

Bucky starts 5th grade tomorrow morning. Woah�this makes me feel quite old. I talked with him at great length tonight on the phone and he was nonchalant about it at best. This summer flew by and I didn�t get to do much of much with him like I would have liked. Meaning I didn�t get to take him to all the places and do all of the things I had planned at the beginning of the summer. *sigh* life goes by so fast. I can�t believe my little boy is not so little anymore�soon he�ll be in high school and then I�ll be plucking gray hairs daily and trying to recapture the youth of my thirties. Ugh�

I have decided to read some more educationally minded fiction. I have printed out several college reading recommendation lists and instead of reading 52 books next year, I am going to read at least a dozen of the massively classically type books.

I�m trying to give boyfriend a subliminal message for him to massage my shoulders and so far it�s not working. He�s just standing there. Why oh why can�t my subliminal techniques ever work? Imagine if you had those powers. What would you do? I�d make all the people in front of me on the way to work move out of my way. I�d make all of the humans in the coffee line at 7-11 disappear until I went through. I�d make the dog stand at attention rather than jump all over me when I walk into the apartment every day. I�d make the class leader at my d.v. classes on Tuesday go mute a half hour early tomorrow. (today..er�whatever) I�d make boyfriend cook every night, and then I�d make my bed automatically make itself. Wait�maybe subliminal messages never work on inanimate items.

I�ve been reading a lot more lately. I only worked ten hours this past weekend versus twenty + so I read �The Blue Bedspread� and I bought �Anna Karenina� and started that one as well. I also am reading �The Pact� and looking for a used copy of �Atonement�. I have yet to find one, but I know I will since those popular titles always show themselves in droves months later. I�ll wait. I�m patient.

Ex paid the past due electricity bill already. I have to schedule the divorce class very soon, as if I don�t have enough to do right now. *rolls eyes* He has about a month or so to pay the huge past due phone bill�s. All in due time I suppose.

I got $400 returned as a child tax credit from the I.R.S. I put it right into the bank at the encouragement from b.f. He�s far better at money management than my book loving music needing self. Did I mention I spend money on coffee far too often even though I�m trying to restrict that to only twice a week these days.

Work is�.hmm�uh..yeah. That good.

Well�I�m awake alone listening to this spooky forensic music�I�m outta here. Can you believe I didn�t update for so many days?? Me either�

-PoeticaL

p.s. ex is still ill. Meaning physically. He still walks with a very big limp and looks sickly. He�s rail thin and I think he�s going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. He wears all these flimsy silver shirts that look like some cheap throwback from the 80�s club days. He calls off of work at least once every two weeks, and if he opts for the treatment they are offering him he�ll run out of health insurance within 3 years. The treatment you ask? Some sort of blood cleansing whereby they recycle his blood through a cleaning mechanism and return it missing the cell that is eating away at his nerve endings causing all the pain. It�s not as if I don�t have any remorse or sympathy for him because I do feel bad that my son may see a day when his own father can no longer move freely and independently. (he already has the handicap parking ticket for his vehicle and rides a motorized chair through the grocery store�) But honestly�despite my ingrown concern because I am human I often think of only one thing when the subject of his illness ever comes up�.

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11:00 p.m. ::
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