PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

k a r m a

Monday, Aug. 04, 2003
Yeah I have word I have word on the pc now. Yeah!!! *jumping up and down* If you go without something for 6 months or so, when it returns to your life, you are quite gleeful. Trust me.

Boyfriend is watching a forensic evidence show. I love those shows. I don’t know if he ever watched them pre-me but he watches them now.

Bucky starts 5th grade tomorrow morning. Woah…this makes me feel quite old. I talked with him at great length tonight on the phone and he was nonchalant about it at best. This summer flew by and I didn’t get to do much of much with him like I would have liked. Meaning I didn’t get to take him to all the places and do all of the things I had planned at the beginning of the summer. *sigh* life goes by so fast. I can’t believe my little boy is not so little anymore…soon he’ll be in high school and then I’ll be plucking gray hairs daily and trying to recapture the youth of my thirties. Ugh…

I have decided to read some more educationally minded fiction. I have printed out several college reading recommendation lists and instead of reading 52 books next year, I am going to read at least a dozen of the massively classically type books.

I’m trying to give boyfriend a subliminal message for him to massage my shoulders and so far it’s not working. He’s just standing there. Why oh why can’t my subliminal techniques ever work? Imagine if you had those powers. What would you do? I’d make all the people in front of me on the way to work move out of my way. I’d make all of the humans in the coffee line at 7-11 disappear until I went through. I’d make the dog stand at attention rather than jump all over me when I walk into the apartment every day. I’d make the class leader at my d.v. classes on Tuesday go mute a half hour early tomorrow. (today..er…whatever) I’d make boyfriend cook every night, and then I’d make my bed automatically make itself. Wait…maybe subliminal messages never work on inanimate items.

I’ve been reading a lot more lately. I only worked ten hours this past weekend versus twenty + so I read “The Blue Bedspread” and I bought “Anna Karenina” and started that one as well. I also am reading “The Pact” and looking for a used copy of “Atonement”. I have yet to find one, but I know I will since those popular titles always show themselves in droves months later. I’ll wait. I’m patient.

Ex paid the past due electricity bill already. I have to schedule the divorce class very soon, as if I don’t have enough to do right now. *rolls eyes* He has about a month or so to pay the huge past due phone bill’s. All in due time I suppose.

I got $400 returned as a child tax credit from the I.R.S. I put it right into the bank at the encouragement from b.f. He’s far better at money management than my book loving music needing self. Did I mention I spend money on coffee far too often even though I’m trying to restrict that to only twice a week these days.

Work is….hmm…uh..yeah. That good.

Well…I’m awake alone listening to this spooky forensic music…I’m outta here. Can you believe I didn’t update for so many days?? Me either…

-PoeticaL

p.s. ex is still ill. Meaning physically. He still walks with a very big limp and looks sickly. He’s rail thin and I think he’s going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. He wears all these flimsy silver shirts that look like some cheap throwback from the 80’s club days. He calls off of work at least once every two weeks, and if he opts for the treatment they are offering him he’ll run out of health insurance within 3 years. The treatment you ask? Some sort of blood cleansing whereby they recycle his blood through a cleaning mechanism and return it missing the cell that is eating away at his nerve endings causing all the pain. It’s not as if I don’t have any remorse or sympathy for him because I do feel bad that my son may see a day when his own father can no longer move freely and independently. (he already has the handicap parking ticket for his vehicle and rides a motorized chair through the grocery store…) But honestly…despite my ingrown concern because I am human I often think of only one thing when the subject of his illness ever comes up….

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11:00 p.m. ::
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