ant on the wall
Friday, Mar. 28, 2003
In the last 2 days I have begged and pleaded to just speak to her. I was given a phone number and then she so �maturely� would answer her cell phone and then hang it up. She wouldn�t sit and ignore the ring or turn the ringer off, but instead answer it and hang up as though to say �ha screw you!� Finally last night the shit hit the fan and I had my son with me and emphatically stated that until that situation was alleviated and the 4 of us (her, him, Rick and I) sat down at the same table at the same time to avoid all the �he said she said� that Ms. Cleaver tries that I wasn�t bringing him back last night at least. I didn�t want to make threats but after 2 days of total shit just about my trying to make a phone call to the woman that drives my son to daycare/school most mornings, cooks his meals and generally is involved in his upbringing and was denied access to her, it was time to say �fuck this noise.� And that�s what I did. She continued to talk crap behind the conversations he and I were having. He and I have found a place where we are resigned and realize that we�ll never both get what we want entirely and that that doesn�t matter, what does is our sons well being and care. My patience level was very low and I finally stated when he asked, �now what?� I replied �Now you pack up his things and he lives with me where there is no opposition and no one living here hangs up on you and everyone here understands that you are his parent and have the right to be informed.� He didn�t know what to say.
She finally agreed to talk to me after he begged her. Then she gets on the phone and says �I have a recorder and this phone conversation will be recorded.� Fuck that. I hung up. I do not intend to ever let someone treat me with such little respect, least of all her. Of course then he calls me back and says �I thought you wanted to speak to her.� I said, �Never mind it�s so obvious that what I want to see happen never will.�
She finally agreed to come tonight to a restaurant and sit down with Rick and I and ex. I had my son with me and drove to Rick�s employer to discuss things with him and ask him if I was on track and being reasonable etc. I have begun to try very hard not to let emotions dictate my behavior and/or reactions. This is harder to do than I ever imagined, least of all in this situation. Ex assumes that I do know her since she was our neighbor, but what I knew was that she was a Christian who gave me a bible and I trusted her and believed her to be an ok person. She has done nothing but prove my opinions at that time to be way off base.
Before she agreed to meet with us, she took it upon herself to call Rick�s employment to speak to him. (yes I have been upfront with that kind of information, and yet they aren�t�until this morning I did not even have ex�s work number or location) She proceeded to ask him the following questions.
What is your last name? How long have you worked there? Do you own a gun? A knife? Oh your Irish?? Then you must drink�? Fuck her I say! He doesn�t deserve the Spanish inquisition, least of all from her. The child involved isn�t hers and its not her place to ask him those questions, least of all when I want the 4 of us to sit down in person and she was given that opportunity prior to her calling him. She feels that I�m going to physically harm her. Does she think I�m stupid enough to do so in a public place? I�m not keen on prison like ex is. I�ve never been in jail outside of a field trip in the 5th grade, and I don�t intend to go back. She�s not worth it.
After all of this, and more than I can possibly write down, ex came to Rick�s employment (since we were already there) to retrieve Bucky and that was that. Then Rick, Randy and I discussed the strangeness of the entire situation. I always thought that if he and I got divorced that we would still be friends and I see how that could be a possibility were it not for her mouth yapping in the background, buying voice recorders and being a complete bitch who puts her nose in places that don�t concern her.
Tonight at 9 p.m. 4 uncomfortable fidgety adults will try to sit down at a table and �yeah� don�t you wish you were an ant on that wall?
I�m going to have to go visit with her ex-husband (she divorced him merely to be with my ex) She hates when I visit him. She thinks I have no right. Ha� sorry honey you gave up all rights to him. I�m not interested in him whatsoever, but it is a free world and I can speak to him if I choose to. Right? Right? Bueller???
God give me the strength to walk in there tonight and be the better person.
-PoeticaL
