PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

at war

Thursday, Mar. 20, 2003
When I moved in with Rick I asked ex not to disclose my address to his whore girlfriend. Guess what? He shows up last night to retrieve my son and SHE’S there at MY residence, outside waiting for him. Gee thanks asshole. I have the right to my own privacy and sense of self safety. Fuck him. I’m filing for a restraining order and it just so happens that I am moving this weekend. A 45 minute conversation this morning before work included him actually saying to me…

“Nothing that I have done has been intentional, I hope that someday you learn to forgive me and that you find your own happiness and realize that this was for the best. I am sorrrrry for everything that’s happened.”

Fuck him.

Last night when this went down, I threw an entire 16 oz bottle of Pepsi all over him, she called me a psycho and ya know what…I’m not proud of those reactions but a person can only take so much shit being dumped on them.

The only other thing I want to write about… Rick. Rick who holds me when someone else makes me cry like a baby. Rick who asks me if I’m ok, tries to lighten my mood… Rick who handled everything to do with our new lease, Rick who holds me, loves me, endures so much of my pain… Rick…. I know that I am better off, I just wish I could be allowed to move on with my life and not be slapped in the face by the past so often.

My son… my son deserves something so much better than what he has. So much better….

I want my son back, in my world he would come first. Absolutely first. I hate ex for letting sex, and all his bullshit wants get in the way of being a mature adult who handles things far better.

Where are his kid gloves? Did he think I would invite her in for coffee? If she really thinks I’m a psycho bitch for throwing soda on her cheating boyfriend….whatever. I’m so tired of this…so tired of it. The only solisce I have in my life… Rick. Without him I’d be lost.

Rick and I? The arms around me without my even asking for his support…to have his love…his care..…. thank you god.

my horoscope today…. You will intuitively know the right place and right time to assert yourself. People might be shocked by the ferocity with which you make everyone know your rights, but soon none of them will be shocked to see you get what you demand.
There is no t in ‘war’ but there is a “t” in this war. Godspeed.


my prayers begin with your name
and end with my tears
11:35 a.m. ::
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