cluttering the net since 2001

ball itcher

Thursday, Dec. 19, 2002

Me: ok i wanna tell you something

Me: i went to the bookstore

Me: sat down ...was reading a book on this nice black leather couch

Me: this old guy sits down catty corner from me on the big chair

Me: he was about 50, kept adjusting his balls and writing in a ratty old notebook

Me: kept looking at me

Me: I kept my eyes away from him

“him”: lol

Me: he was yucky and stuff

“him”: did he scratch his head too

Me: so....

Me: yes....he had a hat on

Me: no hair

Me: curly around the edges

“him”: must of been a nice vacation for his balls

Me: *take hat off* *scratch head* *write in notebook* *leer at me* *wipe nose with gross hankerchief* *leer at me* *adjust balls*

Me: <---head in book *ignoring gross old man*

“him”: just move

“him”: relocate

Me: and then....THEN.....T.....H.....E...N..

Me: couldn't relocate

Me: it was crowded

Me: i was lucky to have a seat and i had the entire couch for my backpack and to stretch and be comfortable

Me: all except for old man eyes on my young girl boobs

Me: <-----*zipped jacket* *eyes averted*


“him”: you must of been flashing him

Me: he decides to.....

Me: nope...I was sitting still...drinking my water....reading my f'n book


Me: (&*$(@*&#)(*^)(&

“him”: lol right no

“him”: on

Me: "what is that book you are so engrossed in?"

“him”: gross he said the magic word

Me: I reply very cold "fiction, they have lots of it"

Me: <----eyes back in book, lift book up higher slide away from gross man to center of couch*


Me: he leans FORWARD and says "what's it about?" *cough cough* *itch balls* *look at boobs*

“him”: lol

Me: <----replies "a girl"

Me: *eyes back in book..slide further away...cover boobs*

“him”: you must of had a low cut shirt on

Me: nope

“him”: went braless

Me: and so then he gets up and leaves and I'm all happy

Me: but THEN

Me: he comes back with a newspaper from England and says "I'm going to read this!" and shows me the newspaper

Me: I reply "hmmphf"

“him”: lol

Me: *eyes back in book* *cross legs* *move water further down the table*

Me: and thennnnnnnnnnnnnn old man says "do you come here alot, I never see you"

Me: *grips book tighter til knuckles are white* *takes a big drink of water* *ignores man*

Me: and THENNNNNNNN he says "can I write down the title of that book for a friend of mine since you seem to like it so much?"

“him”: lol

“him”: hes pretty good

Me: *shows him the front of the book* *doesn't say a word*

Me: he writes it down in this crappy handwriting in this scribbled up book full of shit written down

Me: *moves further down the couch away from ball itcher*

Me: thennnnnnnnnn he says "thank you, you're nice"

“him”: hold on balls itch lol

Me: <----resists whipping finger

“him”: lmao

Me: <---remembers she has her stinky slip on sneakers on that she can't get the smell out of

“him”: ewwwwwwwww

Me: *slides back down to old baldys end of the couch*

Me: *slips shoes off, puts feet on table*

“him”: lol

Me: tick tock tick tock tick tock...few minutes pass

Me: *ball itcher takes hat off, wipes nose with hankie*

Me: *looks at my feet*


“him”: bringing tears to his eyes

Me: <-----slides feet into shoes quickly

Me: <----wipes table off

“him”: you must have some nasty shoes

Me: <----continues reading book

Me: <----decides to pay for book and get the fuck out of ball itching bookstore

“him”: throw those away

Me: <----walks up to counter to pay for book


Me: paying for his $42 snoopy version of Monopoly

Me: <-----turns head....looks down....avoids man's gaze...stands farther away than she should

Me: <----gets up to counter

Me: girl behind counter says

Me: "do you know that old man with the hat?"

Me: I say, "nope"

Me: she says "well he gave me $20 and wants to pay it towards whatever you buy and i'm to give you the change and his phone number as well"

“him”: holy shit

Me: do ya think he thinks I need new shoes?

Me: my book was $13

Me: plus tax

Me: I made $6.73 or something like that

Me: and got a free book

Me: ball itcher wikes my boobies, even if my feets stink

“him”: he hasnt smelled your crotch yet lol

“him”: that might make him leave too

Me: yeah if he did that he might buy me the whole bookstore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: <----has ball itcher phone number

“him”: well call him up and give him a wift

Me: *rolls eyes*

Me: annnnnnnnd for the record they are very nice shoes, but I can't get the stink out of them for nothing

Me: all temperature cheer doesn't cut it

“him”: in the garbagggggge

Me: sure...soon as I can afford a new pair

Me: they were $40

“him”: stinky shoes aint worth .o2

Me: someone told me to soak em in bleach

“him”: nope that wont work

“him”: it will kill the bleach

Me: why would ball itcher smell my cheese feet and buy me something?

“him”: and wildlife

“him”: why are you asking me when you have his phone number

Me: cause I don't intend to call a balding ball itching hankie wiper of a man

“him”: well dont ask me

“him”: how should i know

Me: *shrugs* ok story's all done

“him”: oh wait let me get out my crystal fucken ball

“him”: oh its coming the vision

“him”: oh damn it was only my breath

Me: sorry i asked

Me: i shouldn’t have told you my story

“him”: lol well how should i know

“him”: the story was fine

“him”: it was funny

“him”: but why ask me what his intentions are

Me: cause it makes no sense

Me: i wasn't nice

“him”: call him ask him

Me: nope

Me: never

11:58 p.m. ::
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