ball itcher
Me: ok i wanna tell you something
Me: i went to the bookstore
Me: sat down ...was reading a book on this nice black leather couch
Me: this old guy sits down catty corner from me on the big chair
Me: he was about 50, kept adjusting his balls and writing in a ratty old notebook
Me: kept looking at me
Me: I kept my eyes away from him
“him”: lol
Me: he was yucky and stuff
“him”: did he scratch his head too
Me: so....
Me: yes....he had a hat on
Me: no hair
Me: curly around the edges
“him”: must of been a nice vacation for his balls
Me: *take hat off* *scratch head* *write in notebook* *leer at me* *wipe nose with gross hankerchief* *leer at me* *adjust balls*
Me: <---head in book *ignoring gross old man*
“him”: just move
“him”: relocate
Me: and then....THEN.....T.....H.....E...N..
Me: couldn't relocate
Me: it was crowded
Me: i was lucky to have a seat and i had the entire couch for my backpack and to stretch and be comfortable
Me: all except for old man eyes on my young girl boobs
Me: <-----*zipped jacket* *eyes averted*
Me: and THEEEEENNNNNNNN
“him”: you must of been flashing him
Me: he decides to.....
Me: nope...I was sitting still...drinking my water....reading my f'n book
Me: he decides to STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION
Me: (&*$(@*&#)(*^)(&
“him”: lol right no
“him”: on
Me: "what is that book you are so engrossed in?"
“him”: gross he said the magic word
Me: I reply very cold "fiction, they have lots of it"
Me: <----eyes back in book, lift book up higher slide away from gross man to center of couch*
Me: and THENNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Me: he leans FORWARD and says "what's it about?" *cough cough* *itch balls* *look at boobs*
“him”: lol
Me: <----replies "a girl"
Me: *eyes back in book..slide further away...cover boobs*
“him”: you must of had a low cut shirt on
Me: nope
“him”: went braless
Me: and so then he gets up and leaves and I'm all happy
Me: but THEN
Me: he comes back with a newspaper from England and says "I'm going to read this!" and shows me the newspaper
Me: I reply "hmmphf"
“him”: lol
Me: *eyes back in book* *cross legs* *move water further down the table*
Me: and thennnnnnnnnnnnnn old man says "do you come here alot, I never see you"
Me: *grips book tighter til knuckles are white* *takes a big drink of water* *ignores man*
Me: and THENNNNNNNN he says "can I write down the title of that book for a friend of mine since you seem to like it so much?"
“him”: lol
“him”: hes pretty good
Me: *shows him the front of the book* *doesn't say a word*
Me: he writes it down in this crappy handwriting in this scribbled up book full of shit written down
Me: *moves further down the couch away from ball itcher*
Me: thennnnnnnnnn he says "thank you, you're nice"
“him”: hold on balls itch lol
Me: <----resists whipping finger
“him”: lmao
Me: <---remembers she has her stinky slip on sneakers on that she can't get the smell out of
“him”: ewwwwwwwww
Me: *slides back down to old baldys end of the couch*
Me: *slips shoes off, puts feet on table*
“him”: lol
Me: tick tock tick tock tick tock...few minutes pass
Me: *ball itcher takes hat off, wipes nose with hankie*
Me: *looks at my feet*
Me: and LEAVEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
“him”: bringing tears to his eyes
Me: <-----slides feet into shoes quickly
Me: <----wipes table off
“him”: you must have some nasty shoes
Me: <----continues reading book
Me: <----decides to pay for book and get the fuck out of ball itching bookstore
“him”: throw those away
Me: <----walks up to counter to pay for book
Me: BALL ITCHER is IN FRONT OF MEEEEEEEEE
Me: paying for his $42 snoopy version of Monopoly
Me: <-----turns head....looks down....avoids man's gaze...stands farther away than she should
Me: <----gets up to counter
Me: girl behind counter says
Me: "do you know that old man with the hat?"
Me: I say, "nope"
Me: she says "well he gave me $20 and wants to pay it towards whatever you buy and i'm to give you the change and his phone number as well"
“him”: holy shit
Me: do ya think he thinks I need new shoes?
Me: my book was $13
Me: plus tax
Me: I made $6.73 or something like that
Me: and got a free book
Me: ball itcher wikes my boobies, even if my feets stink
“him”: he hasnt smelled your crotch yet lol
“him”: that might make him leave too
Me: yeah if he did that he might buy me the whole bookstore!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: <----has ball itcher phone number
“him”: well call him up and give him a wift
Me: *rolls eyes*
Me: annnnnnnnd for the record they are very nice shoes, but I can't get the stink out of them for nothing
Me: all temperature cheer doesn't cut it
“him”: in the garbagggggge
Me: sure...soon as I can afford a new pair
Me: they were $40
“him”: stinky shoes aint worth .o2
Me: someone told me to soak em in bleach
“him”: nope that wont work
“him”: it will kill the bleach
Me: why would ball itcher smell my cheese feet and buy me something?
“him”: and wildlife
“him”: why are you asking me when you have his phone number
Me: cause I don't intend to call a balding ball itching hankie wiper of a man
“him”: well dont ask me
“him”: how should i know
Me: *shrugs* ok story's all done
“him”: oh wait let me get out my crystal fucken ball
“him”: oh its coming the vision
“him”: oh damn it was only my breath
Me: sorry i asked
Me: i shouldn’t have told you my story
“him”: lol well how should i know
“him”: the story was fine
“him”: it was funny
“him”: but why ask me what his intentions are
Me: cause it makes no sense
Me: i wasn't nice
“him”: call him ask him
Me: nope
Me: never
