PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

breathing sleep

Saturday, Jul. 13, 2002
When your sentences go from 5 words to 4 to 3 to mumbles.... When the silence part comes and I know you are asleep. That part where you are breathing shallow. That is when I feel the absolute closest to you. That is the sweetest feeling inside. When you have fallen asleep hearing my voice, listening to me. It makes me feel like you come to me to be as close to me as you can. When we connect it is such a nice place to be.

When we spend the evening together like that, like we did tonight, in the middle of it all there’s not one thing in the world I want more than what it is like to just be doing something with you. There is nothing except that I want to see your eyes all tired. I want to be able to just be. And not think about anything else for a while. Just for a while with you.

When you call me at 2:12 a.m. when I want nothing more than to say goodnight to you. When you call like that and I see your name flashing through the rings and all I feel inside and out is close to you, the smile is so big. There is a connection between us. We built it. Sometimes it seems wire thin. Mostly I know it’s bigger than me.

I was wrong to urge you to “just go to sleep”. I’m wrong to do that because when you come to me, no matter why you come, no matter how you come. That doesn’t matter. What does is that you do come to me. And I am so happy inside that you do. I am so happy that you are there somewhere in this world and that you choose to come be close to me. I don’t want you to ever feel like I am pushing you away. Those words ‘just go to sleep’or 'say goodnight Kristy' aren’t how I feel or what I really want you to ever hear. I really want to just listen to you fall asleep, hang up my phone and know that being able to do that with another person is just really kewl.

You truly do remind me that there will always be something good in this place we call life. I will never again tell you to just go to sleep. Because though my intention is for you not to torture yourself trying to articulate words for me….in the end I really just want to hear you breath shallow and imagine in my mind that you just might come to me because that is where you feel content. When your voice is the last I hear at night, something inside me just all goes right back into the right places. Everything that was that day then feels completely right.

Thanks for singing for me. Thanks for spending your time with me. Thanks for tonight.

Me

Two in the morning telephone rings
Somehow I knew who it was
'Cause baby it's always the same old thing
When you need my love

Oh I wish I could just say no
And get you out of my heart
It must be nice to have some place to go
When your world falls apart

Daryl Worley
3:21 a.m. ::
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