cluttering the net since 2001

bridget jones red diary?

Wednesday, Aug. 07, 2002
I better get used to this missing someone feeling I get often these days. If I’m gonna be all crazy for a military man….who’s middle name is ‘deployment’.

I bought this leather journal intended to be a travel journal because it’s portable, about a month ago. Just because it’s refillable and just it smelled so leathery I had to have it. And it was only $19.99 too. Not bad. And the refill books are only $5 so when I change my mind about it’s use I don’t have to throw it away. It’s got ties on it and stuff. It’s really nice. It’s been laying around the house while I waited for the right use for it. I have been steadily writing all this poetry for “t” almost since the day I met him. I have decided to handwrite each poem each day into this book. Then I’ll have something tangible to say “here…this is our relationship.” I have this idea in my head of my handing him this journal one day in person. I need to not have these images. Images in your head of some day’s are what ruins today’s. He’s never seen Bridget Jones diary and some of you know that’s the layout there and he asked me about it. I explained the last scene in the movie and he said, “that’s the kinda cheese I live for.” Meaning cheesy lovey dovey kinda stuff. A man that lives for those cheese moments? So now this led me to wanting to own a red diary like that one that she has in that movie. Yeah see what a dork I am at heart. Where does someone find a diary like that one she’s holding in that layout??? Hmmm… You’d think they’d be making those like left and right to mass market fools like me.

In the meantime I’m saving things, writing it all down. Keeping love in leather. Every night, I write down the stuff I wrote that day. Every night I think wow…I’m sure writing a lot, I don’t know if it’s good…but it does remind me. I even photocopied the stupid amazon packing slip, reduced it and glue sticked it in there. I kept a section of the wrapping paper, the gift card, the ribbon…. I’m losing my mind here people!!!

Jimmy & Rita: Poems is the book he bought me….the only time a man bought me..me a writer…me a poetess…a poetry book. Just this thought makes me almost cry. I’m all done updating today…I just miss him…and don’t understand missing someone that you’ve never touched.


[answering phone] Bridget Jones: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs.
10:59 a.m. ::
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