PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

bullets

Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003
Today I cleaned out all my paperwork and got my divorce papers ready for court. Talk about a daunting task. It�s not something you ever think you will do. Yes, I talked about divorce for a long time. I thought about it. I almost filed it myself. I was confused, angry, and maligned by most everyone I tried to talk to about it.

Am I supposed to be happy, cheering like I�m about to have a party? I think not. I didn�t get married under the umbrella protection of �ohhh if it doesn�t work out I�ll just get a divorce.�

I said, �I do.� in a church in Westchester, VA and I meant it. How much more could I have meant it? I talked to someone today who is about to enter his second marriage. He told me he thinks it�ll work this time because he found the �one�. When I asked why he married the first wife he said they were best friends. This confuses me. Isn�t the �one� supposed to be your best friend?

I called to speak to my son tonight and was told by �ms. bitch� that my son was asleep. Having to endure someone else telling me about my son�s whereabouts will never ever feel good to me. Never.

I have moments when I don�t think I�ll ever feel ok again, and then I have moments when I am full of hope. I will never understand the human mind or how mine truly works. I�ll probably never be perfect or able to deal with this right. After all in my mind divorce is never right, it�s always the kids who pay and watching mine pay is hard to do.

I intend to start over on Tuesday, I intend to put forth every effort to become the person I wanted to become before that mistake. I think I�m going to whine about this until that judge pounds down his gavel, then I�m never speaking about it again.

-PoeticaL

Bullet For You

When we met they said it couldn't be. We tried to disprove what they seen. We walked hand in hand, across time and land. But at some time it had to end. So here's what had to be said.

I�m sorry that it�s over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger we�re through.

From here on out I don't know what to say. I admit my life won't be the same. No need for those hollow tears, we've enjoyed the time we shared. But like when we die, we die alone. That's just the way life goes.

I�m sorry that it�s over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger we�re through.


No, no signs, no smoke screens. Just these words sent directly to you. One day you will see, exactly what you meant to me.

I�m sorry that it�s over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger we�re through.

-2k
8:49 p.m. ::
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