PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

bullets

Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003
Today I cleaned out all my paperwork and got my divorce papers ready for court. Talk about a daunting task. Itís not something you ever think you will do. Yes, I talked about divorce for a long time. I thought about it. I almost filed it myself. I was confused, angry, and maligned by most everyone I tried to talk to about it.

Am I supposed to be happy, cheering like Iím about to have a party? I think not. I didnít get married under the umbrella protection of ďohhh if it doesnít work out Iíll just get a divorce.Ē

I said, ďI do.Ē in a church in Westchester, VA and I meant it. How much more could I have meant it? I talked to someone today who is about to enter his second marriage. He told me he thinks itíll work this time because he found the ďoneĒ. When I asked why he married the first wife he said they were best friends. This confuses me. Isnít the ďoneĒ supposed to be your best friend?

I called to speak to my son tonight and was told by ďms. bitchĒ that my son was asleep. Having to endure someone else telling me about my sonís whereabouts will never ever feel good to me. Never.

I have moments when I donít think Iíll ever feel ok again, and then I have moments when I am full of hope. I will never understand the human mind or how mine truly works. Iíll probably never be perfect or able to deal with this right. After all in my mind divorce is never right, itís always the kids who pay and watching mine pay is hard to do.

I intend to start over on Tuesday, I intend to put forth every effort to become the person I wanted to become before that mistake. I think Iím going to whine about this until that judge pounds down his gavel, then Iím never speaking about it again.

-PoeticaL

Bullet For You

When we met they said it couldn't be. We tried to disprove what they seen. We walked hand in hand, across time and land. But at some time it had to end. So here's what had to be said.

Iím sorry that itís over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger weíre through.

From here on out I don't know what to say. I admit my life won't be the same. No need for those hollow tears, we've enjoyed the time we shared. But like when we die, we die alone. That's just the way life goes.

Iím sorry that itís over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger weíre through.


No, no signs, no smoke screens. Just these words sent directly to you. One day you will see, exactly what you meant to me.

Iím sorry that itís over. I'm sorry that it's done. These words are the bullet, and I'm the gun. Taking aim towards you! I pull the trigger weíre through.

-2k
8:49 p.m. ::
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