PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

the internet is just like captain crunch

Friday, Aug. 16, 2002
I was going to just come and talk about this http://frequencies.diaryland.com/020815_33.html

which I’m now too tired to even do the code to link.


Here’s the thing….



me: big time messy hair tonight

me: i had the z out

me: with Bucky

t: ok

me: I can't see you

me: just a bunch of pencils or something

t: bullets in the way

t: better?

me: yeah i shoulda left the light off

me: lookie my funky hair

t: ok...

me: ok what?

t: get up and shut it off

t: ;-)

me: no its ok

me: you need to see me looking all funky

me: get this notion of fantasy girl out of your head

t: you r still my fantasy

me: phhhft

me: ts lost in internet lala land

t: tearing apart a weapon magazine

me: ok

t: what fun right

me: lol

me: i dunno I'm not doing it you are

me: i'm just sitting here

t: talk

me: about what?

me: lol

t: got it! apart

me: i could say "hey I did 10 mexican guys in the back seat of my car today" ouch...sneeze.... but you'd not know anyways

t: really

me: lol

me: nope

me: i didn't even eat lunch

t: :-)

me: hmmm.....ok I got something I gotta go do

me: brf

t: omg

t: i saw it again

me: oh geez

me: I really shoulda combed my hair

me: lol

t: show me again

me: ok I'm gonna start to flash body parts

me: and you're gonna miss half of em

me: cause you're doing stuffs

me: but that's ok

me: i'll do it fast

me: you'll never even know you missed anything

me: ...

me: .....

me: ...

me: .....

t: ok

me: ..

me: .

me: .

t: show me

me: .

me: forget it

me: lookie what I went to get

t: that is not your body

me: nope

me: i found my magazine today

me: oh forget it....

t: body?

me: i'm gonna go get my vibe and entertain myself

t: show me

me: lol

t: now

me: show you what?

me: i'm not showing you anything

me: trust me

t: body parts

me: you don't want it

me: get that evil grin off ya face

t: you lied then

me: i was joking around

me: geesh

t: nope

me: wanna see my keys?

me: i have my backpack right here....

t: u want to my key

me: that i carry to work and stuff

me: that sentence made no sense

t: do you want to see my "KEY"

me: ok t....who was on the keychain?

t: pooh bear

me: wow

me: you were paying attention

me: holy shit

t: multi talented...

t:

me: yeah sure

me: ok wanna see my phone that doesn't know how to ring?

t: nope...

t: I want to see your....

t: yeah

me: <-----wanted to throw phone out the window

t: buttocks

me: lol

me: you said you already did

t: that sexy...

me: ther'es nothing so great to see

me: picture fat and ugly and you're all set

t: nope

t: sexy

t: voluptuous

t: good enough to eat

me: try coming back to the real world

t: i am here

me: but I'm not

t: yes u r

me: this is virtual world

me: we could do this forever and never have it be real

t: oh we could just get naked and prove you wrong...

t: prove to you that it is good enough to eat

me: lol

me: not gonna happen

t: sure

t: if you believe that

me: if I believe what?

t: i thinkd...

me: ?

t: i think that I will prove you wrong

t:

me: prove me wrong about what?

t: I am going to (sexual reference deleted)

t: then

t: I am going to stick my tongue into (sexual reference deleted)

me: you realize I'm sitting here looking at the back of your neck wanting to lick it

t: really

me: yup

me: but then again that's all I can see

me: lol

t: I could drop my pants

me: ok I'm gonna go to bed

me: say good night k

t: ok

me: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

t: I have to go to shift change now anu ways

me: ok bye

t: ok

me: whatever

t: ok

t: maybe I will be back later

I left… I walked away sorta in a mean ass way because..here’s the fucking thing. I want someone who can really hold me. Touch me. Run their fingers through my hair. And speak to me where I can see their lips move and hear the sounds at the same time.

I want him to be that. I want him to be real. And there’s a good damn chance that will never happen. I keep telling myself not to think like this, but I’ve told myself that shit once before. I’m so fucked….

me: do ya ever just want someone "real" to talk to

underwater: yup yup

underwater: do you?

me: like someone "real really" in your room sitting next to you

me: fluffing up their hair

underwater: yes

me: picking at a scab on her knee

me: moving your cd collection around the room

me: just normalcy

me: real living breathing something

me: do you ever get tired of every conversation you have being text

underwater: yes

me: does it ever get to you so bad you just want to scream or cry

underwater: no

me: ok so I'm a freak

me: figures

underwater: lol

underwater: are you sad?

me: i'm....

underwater: i would let you cry on my shoulder

me: ok so

me: i know this person

me: i've known lots of these persons before

me: one time before thought someone was kewl

me: got too close

me: got burnt

me: then said 'nope never again'

underwater: i hear ya girl

me: well then again happened

me: and I'm a fool who believes in love

me: like fools only do

me: with all my heart soul and playdoh gut

me: and

me: its early on

underwater: i know girl

me: and he's perfect in every "virtual" way

me: calls me from afghanistan for crying out loud

me: today

me: to leave a message on my voice mail just to say "i miss you"

me: but....heres the thing

me: in the virtual world everyone has a slight bit of that fantasy thing goin on

me: you can't see all

me: you cant know all

me: and therefore you fill in the blanks with your hopefulness

me: we all want something good in life

me: so what we can't see

me: we fill with perhaps false good

me: just now...chatting to him

me: i try to explain this fantasy world thing

me: cause i've been there before

me: this place

me: where its' all good

me: and perfect feeling

me: and swoonlike

me: well....

underwater: swoonlike?

me: he's never been before...so I'm all wrong

me: you know

underwater: no

me: "OMG this person is so kewl like"

me: that swoon shit

underwater: ok

me: where you think you see perfection

me: blah

me: its crap

me: its virtual trickery

me: so in hte middle of a perfectly normal seeming chat.....

me: this is what happened

me: me: ok I'm gonna go to bed

me: say good night k

t: ok

me: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

t: I have to go to shift change now anu ways

me: ok bye

t: ok

me: whatever

t: ok

t: maybe I will be back later

me: see...the frustration level..... whatever... trust me if a girl says "whatever" she's pissed....aggitated....frustrated...something IS wrong... whatever and fine are never truthful or divine

underwater: how can i help

me: you can't

me: now ain't that the bitch of it

me: no one can

underwater: believe it or not,,,,

underwater: i am real

underwater: i am true

me: i just had to say it to someone cause I wonder if I'm the only one that does this to myself

me: I need some captain crunch

me: captain crunch fixes all things

me: except the roof of your mouth

underwater: lmao

me: it makes that feel like a cheap whore

me: know what?

underwater: what

me: the internet is just like captain crunch

underwater: ya

1:10 a.m. ::
prev :: next