PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

chutes and ladders fuck

Wednesday, Jun. 26, 2002
look at this lovely piece of crap written by the biggest con artist I have yet to meet to date. “He” sent this to me in my email. Pathetic fuck!

When have I ever said your not worth something. You always try change the meaning of what I say. Either that or you just don't get it or maybe worse you refuse to believe it. You make up your own lies never have I implied your not worth anything. I said what works for my life. The lifestyle I want to live. I do not want to get involve with someone who has kids with them. Its not for me. You cant force it to be. No matter how much time you spend, me being in that situation would cause me to be truly unhappy. Is that what you really want? How far do you think that relationship would get? You act like this is such a confusing thing when its really not. Haven't you ever looked at single ads. People make statements what they want all the time. Couples are happy together because they care about each other, do things for each other and make life more pleasurable for the other. They both feel they are in a very comfortable situation right? And as soon as that comfort changes the pleasure would be gone. Happiness would be out the door and the relationship would be over. Life, Love, and Happiness is all about what people want. What's different is everybody has their own idea of what happiness is. What's the same is no matter how different it is from the next person the fact remains whatever it is we want we have in our mind set standards for it. Whether its a luxury car, beautiful house or someone who's single with no kids. In this example the standards are luxury,beautiful, and single with no kids. We cant always get what we want. When its material things we can do things to change the situation so we can actually make the materialistic dream become reality. For matters of the heart that doesn't hold true. You cant force someone to love you no more than you can force someone to live your way of life with you and expect them to be happy. right? And just because they don't want what you want doesn't mean it was anything personal, or they don't like you or your not worth anything, or you shouldn't be proud of your kid. All that is crap and you know it. Its just mindless bullshit people conjure up so they can hide from what the real meaning is, the truth. If people are together they are together because they make each others life easier and share allot of interests including likes and dislikes. If you have to force someone to be with you then you have no business being with that person in the first place right? I reframed myself from using big words. I hope this is adequate and easy for you to understand. You don't apply for jobs that require credentials such as degrees or years of experience that you don't have do you? And if you did and sweet talked yourself in getting the job. Do you think during your secret self-learning period you're going to produce the quality of work the employer expects? Of course not how could you? The fact is you had no business applying for the job in the first place. They stated up front what you must have in order to apply for the position. Are you gonna go knock on their door and tell them they think your a nobody? Give them a piece of your mind and let them know they are nothing but assholes because they didn't hire you because you don't have the necessary credentials they require? Of course not! You'd be wasting your time. Relationships work the same way. It might be called a relationship but in actual reality its a partnership. They each have something the other one wants. Doesn't matter what it is could be anything. love, honesty, nice tits, money. Maybe a girl is seeking a man who is also atthletic who is like herself because shes active and doesnt want someone who is a lard ass who sits on couch all night with pizza sauce on his shirt. It really doesn't matter. I know what I want, and I know what I don't want. The only person that doesn't know it (refuse to accept it) is you.

Take Care,

“him”

“him”: Did you read my letter?
Me: I didn't get your letter
“him”: you what
“him”: i sent it to your hotmail
Me: didn't get your letter
Me: k
Me: lemme go look
Me: yeah it's there
Me: let me read it
“him”: ok
Me: wait...I need to take some excedrin first
“him”: take 2
Me: 11K
Me: this is gonna be ugly
“him”: no i dont think so
“him”: it was written to make understanding a whole lot easier not to portray a mood
Me: ok but the fonts so damn small
“him”: i used normal
“him”: hold on
“him”: i just forwarded it again
“him”: bigger font


( I read the email here…)

Me: you shouldn't have applied for the job then
“him”: i didnt
Me: then shut up about planes
“him”: ok
Me: don't say shit to me like "how do you know if you weren't in the same room it would be better?"
Me: you say one thing one day
Me: something different the next day
Me: not me
Me: YOU YOU YOU
“him”: the plane event was to meet you
“him”: that was all
Me: what for though
“him”: to put an end to a 21/2 year old mystery
Me: why go on an interview for a job you clearly don't fucking want
Me: what's the mystery?
Me: exactly what the fuck is the mystery?
“him”: what it would be like too see each other in person
Me: who cares
Me: that's a far way to go just to satisfy idle curiosity
“him”: to talk to each other face to face rather than like this
“him”: that was it that was all too it
“him”: a friend meeting up with another friend
“him”: not for marriage not for shacking up not for making life long lasting plans
Me: I don't have to be divorced to go talk to a friend you jerk!
“him”: just a friend meeting another friend
Me: mr "you're leading two lives" "you need to show me action"
“him”: that letter should show you plenty read it again
Me: I did
“him”: good then is it understood where we stand where we always stood
Me: yeah I got it
Me: run along
“him”: dont talk to me like that
Me: *shrugs*
Me: I know what I want and I know what I don't want.
“him”: Just do me one favor dont make up things to justify the answer you dont wanna hear
Me: there is no justification for this...just your way
“him”: wrong again.......nothing to do with whos way. If that was the case we would already be in a relationship
“him”: but were not
Me: ok run along
Me: I read it twice...I get it.
“him”: good thats all i needed to hear
Me: I know. So you can live with yourself now.
“him”: i could live with myself before
Me: sad
“him”: im trying to be nice so please dont start by insulting me
Me: I'm not insulting you
Me: I can't
Me: you'd have to care about me for me to be able to do that
“him”: you just tried
“him”: again you create bullshit for your reasons
Me: I have no reasons.
Me: There's clearly nothing to be gained.
“him”: Why dont you just be honest and say ya “him” your right
Me: because your self centered and that's never right
Me: but you have a right to be that way ...so run along...be whatever way you damn well please
“him”: What i want you dont “him”. I might not totally understand it but i accept it
“him”: now wouldnt that be much better than to conjure up shit
Me: I understand it
Me: its' not about not understaning it
Me: +d
Me: it's about .....I thought far better of you than this
Me: my bad
Me: don't sweat it
Me: run along
“him”: if you understand it thats all you need to you
“him”: Its not my problem you picture this image of me in your mind and what you found out is not that way at all
Me: didn't say it was a problem
Me: I said it was sad
Me: that's all
“him”: sad for who
Me: doesn't matter
Me: forget it
“him”: i dont think its sad
Me: I read it I understand.
Me: move along
“him”: i think thats just the way it is
Me: I'm not the girl. just go
“him”: Ok, enjoy your night
“him”: bye
Me: <---goes in other room to make voodoo doll and smash it upside the wall “him”: after your done with that consider checking yourself in a day care. Ask your son im sure he can recommend a good one
Me: you win
Me: I hate you
Me: leave me alone
“him”: should i delete you from this program and all the other ones?
“him”: you have a choice now. You better act on it before its gone.
Me: you know you don't get it
Me: I get it
Me: you don't get my point
“him”: Yes or NO
Me: stop that shit
Me: and you call me immature
“him”: i dont consider it necessary to back track what we just settled
Me: what you don't get is that you lead me on
“him”: no you lead yourself on
Me: nope
“him”: i talk to you i be your friend
Me: I wasn't all gungho about meeting up with you
Me: that was all you
“him”: i wanted to meet you
“him”: big deal
Me: ok.....maybe I should assume you want to meet everyone you talk to online
“him”: you meet someone new everytime you walk into the grocery store
“him”: big deal
Me: nope that's what you do
Me: I don't do that
“him”: everybody meets someone new when they shop they dont ask for their hand in marriage just because they met do they?
Me: nope
“him”: Now i have tried to explain this every way i can every way possible. Even given you good examples. Now if you still dont get it then your either thicker than jar of crunchy peanut butter or your just dumb
Me: neither
“him”: Then be a person accept the fact this is how it is.
Me: ok
“him”: good, i need to get rolling soon
Me: k
Me: I think my opinion of you was far too high up there. But don't worry, it just fell a thousand notches.
“him”: Ok
Me: I know I can do better and deserve better by a long shot.
“him”: Look im busy right now anything else derogatory you have to say, put it in an email ok? Me: I'm not being derogatory
“him”: ya whatever keep it in the email
Me: you don't believe I deserve better than someone telling me my child is a hindrance?
Me: that he doesn't fit what they want
Me: you have a right to what you want
Me: but I can do better than being told that shit
Me: period
“him”: its not better, its you need to find the right one who wants the same as you do
Me: I found him.
“him”: excellent
Me: That's why you couldn't come to FL. (total lie here…..who the fuck cares…look how he lies to me constantly…..)
Me: I'm ending this conversation. I'm upset and I don't want to say shit just cause I'm hurt. So I'm done with this.
“him”: ya i think that would be best
Me: i'd just sit here and tell you shit I'm not sure if I mean because you're so callous and cold and it makes me angry that I give you more credit than that
“him”: if you take things as they are "face value" then your never be disappointed
Me: you led me on
Me: led me to believe other things
Me: I changed my life around partly because of you
Me: my bad
Me: forget it
“him”: your still at it
“him”: do you really believe you can arugue your way into my life?
Me: I really believe your a fraud.
Me: I don't want in your life.
“him”: ok then the problem is solved then right?
Me: There is no problem where there is no gain to be had.
“him”: i totally agree
“him”: now im going to run over to matts
Me: someday somebody will do to you what you did to me and then you'll get it
“him”: i didnt do anything to you
Me: not according to you
“him”: now good night
Me: lol
“him” signed off at 8:22:05 PM.

Whatever…he’s not even worth my fucking time. It’s not worth getting upset over. I need to read this everyday until it just doesn’t matter at all. Because when he finds that perfect girl there will come a day when pretty will not hold up the walls. When the moon will sneer at him and he won’t have anyone to talk to about how badly he feels. And I will be somewhere smiling into the eyes of someone that loves me…

Ok…so let me fucking dream….it’s all I have.

Brad is a giant chutes and ladders board and I’m onto his game.

He sucks.

And he’s the stupid ass that wasted 2 ½ years on a girl he doesn’t want?

Who’s really the one thicker than a jar of crunchy peanut butter?

3 nights ago we spent 3 hours on the phone having a great time.

Two nights before that he was singing love songs. Chutes....your ladders suck!

I’m gonna go watch TV with “Bucky”. This is a waste of my time.
8:32 p.m. ::
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