cluttering the net since 2001


Sunday, Jun. 18, 2006
Dear Dad,

I’m thinking about you today, but that’s not much different than other days. I think about you when something breaks, because you could fix absolutely anything with a gubberrubband and one little set of indestructions. I think about you when my car makes a funny noise, you were brilliant at those too. I often think “I wish I could just call him and ask him….” and the end of that questioning never ends. I wish I had had more time to learn more and more and so much more…about you, you who turned out to be so much like me it was eerie.

There was little you could not do. And what little thing you could not do is the thing that took you away from me. I wish I could change that so that I could have you in the now so I could share with you all of the changes that have happened since we last spoke. So much I would want to share, every A, every paper, every new thing I’ve learned, every recipe I’ve tried since….every great new show you would have coveted. I thought I never knew you and now I find that I was never more wrong as then. I think like me no one understood you, but sometimes when I don’t try so hard, I do…I get it…I do.

Today the sun is shining and sometimes when I’m having a bad day and yet the sun is shining I picture you up in heaven with your heavy duty work light attached to that long orange cord…I imagine you are keeping things as light as possible for me.

Maybe all you can hope for as an adult without parents is that you have a pocketful of memories to sprinkle out on a rainy day, a special day…such as today. You are always in my pocket, like a secret…I cherish you in my memories. Much like a child cherishes a handful of sticky candy. I will never let you go.

I love you

White folded handkerchiefs
Levi jeans
Pocket tees
Tiny spiral notebooks
Full of scratched up notes

if I could send letters to heaven i'd send you the entire alphabet so that you and i could still talk....

1:06 p.m. ::
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