PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

dear karma

Friday, May. 17, 2002

guestbook message: You wouldn't constantly have to reevaluate your decision to have a diary if you would just level with people. You are married with a child, yet you carry on with that "him" guy while lying to him about having other online boyfriends while really being in love with him and giving him shit about being less than genuine. Then you flirt with people and post it to your diary like I tried to help this person. I just read in your diary the other day about someone wishing they could move by you. You've got shit karma. Forget that waitress. How many guys do you have going? And what of your husband? Does he know of all these online dalliances? You are supposed to be making your marriage work, yet the majority of your entries are about online guys and how your support system is built of them. I don't believe your husband knows you lie to "him" and that you invite men to move to your town and that you tell boys you are going to the islands and all the total shit you say girl !!! Get real. You are neck deep. I just shake my head when I read your diary but I tell you what, it is great entertainment. And don't disregard my entry because I don't give you a URL or email. I am your conscience. Remember, you can always remember the truth. You cannot remember the LIES.
-karma police

Dear Karma Police and everyone else that reads and has an opinionÖ.

Yes I am married with a child.To a man that has cheated on me so many times that of course it has left scars, and I am doing the best that I can in dealing with it.It is increasingly hard to trust a person that cheats on you, lies to you about important things like the IRS and bankruptcy court.When you find out important things about your life from mail only and not from your spouse it tends to confuse the entire issue.You read bits and pieces of my life and think you have the big picture, thatís just false assumptions on your part.I am a huge flirt, but unlike my husband, I keep my pants on.

For all your ramblings about my carrying on with "him", I have never even met him in person.So whatever was going on was text only, and while it was intense and something far more than just text, I never stood in a room with him.And thereís really no point in discussing him because itís a dead issue.Heís no longer any part of my life, and that was my choice.Itís very apparent that heís not worth my time.And, for every time that I lied to him, he lied a thousand times in return.While he was begging me to move out and file for divorce he was fucking his new girlfriend unbeknownst to me.No, it doesnít make it right that I lied.I have learned from that debauchery of an interaction.

The person who is moving is not moving to the same state as me.Tim.And Tim is a friend.A good friend.I am not involved with Tim.And if heís happy about moving near me, thatís him.†† He said it.Iím not responsible for what other people say or feel.I also didnít invite him to move, his job is transferring him.Period.I just met him a few weeks ago and therefore none of that has shit to do with me,although I would go meet him if the opportunity arises.My husband already knows about Tim.He knows most of my friends are men.Always have been, always will be.I canít relate to most women because of my mother.

My husband also knows that I have never cheated on him.And if someone brings up the fact that glenn5 jumped a plane, keep in mind that while glenn5 was doing that, my husband was in a one bedroom dive of a furnished hotel knee deep in a dumb girl that calls herself Christmas when thatís not her name.While my son was in the same room supposedly watching cartoons. How do I know this?ďBuckyĒ told me!!!

As far as ďgoing to the islandsĒ, there is much truth to that.Husband and I have filed through his employer for a transfer to the Cayman Islands.Itís a truss engineering job.Itís a five year commitment and it pays 4 times what he is currently earning.Itís a wonderful opportunity.It takes a few months to file everything and confirm anything so I havenít much talked about it.But I believe that within the next year or so, we will be packing up and moving to the islands.When that occurs, I will not have to work a job if I chose not to and I intend to sit and write a novel just as entertaining as this stupid diary.If you think this is great, I think the notion of rude ignorant people like yourself chucking down cash money to read my words is awesome.

Husband knows all about BraN, MP, and everyone else I speak to.He has free access to my diary and my website for that matter.I have nothing to hide from him.He knows me inside and out and at the end of the day when I go to bed, it is with him.Thatís all that matters to him.And who is he to say, he fucked his sonís best friends mommy in our bed.Heís happy that I didnít grab our son, file for divorce and leave the state.Heís happy that I have decided to forgive and move on.We both have.We have wiped off the slate and moved on.I donít care who understands or relates or agrees.Itís my life and Iím living it.You are a mere observer from the sidelines seeing only bits and pieces of the game.And I never wanted anyone else on my team anyways.

I think that you, karma police, are most likely a person that has spoken to me personally and never had the ďbollocksĒ to express yourself.I express myself freely, canyou?If you canít, then you are nothing but a lie yourself.YeahÖthink about that.You are what you are complaining about. Congrats.

I might be fucked up about certain things in my life, I am not lying about them.I write in my diary freely and I say what I think at that time.Sometimes Iím wrong, but Iím always human.

Besides, itís my birthday and Iím happy and Iím not afraid of you.A diary does not = real life.Get a clue.

-†††††††† PoeticaL

One last thoughtÖ. I must be able to write to elicit people enough to have them write all this sludge in my guestbook.Gullible much?lol

8:57 a.m. ::
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