cluttering the net since 2001

do we?

Saturday, Jan. 10, 2004
sometimes i watch you sleeping and i want to write a novel about that feeling that i get at that moment. that feeling of belonging that i find when we laugh together, talk together and just are together. i know we are both afraid of something that has happened before. sometimes i think about the things that have happened already in my lifetime and how i thought they would never happen and i worry...i worry about trusting you..believing in you. i worry that you wonder these things about me as well. i can sit for hours and remember that kind of pain. the pain that rips you apart, makes your ribs feel like cellbars holding your heart inside, when it wants to break free and feel happy again. i remember and yet i have forgotten because we are not that past. we are not those people that have hurt us. we are the people that have been hurt ourselves. i have lied, in the past. i have been afraid to open up my entire self, heart body and soul...because then i am wide open to be destroyed by someone hurtful. i have met those hurtful people before. you are not one of them. i am not one of them. we have no need to hurt each other...do we?

i could get angry. i could call 911. i could tell lies. i could be ugly. i could but i won't. i never do. i get hurt and i sit in a corner and think i deserve it. just as you don't...neither do i.
11:43 p.m. ::
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