cluttering the net since 2001

everything is going to be ok

Thursday, Aug. 08, 2002
t: why are you crying babe?
me: just hard to feel this close to someone and i can't touch you
me: i can't hold you
me: and because of this situation I might never get to
t: we will have our time
t: what situation?
me: just where you are
me: anything can happen
me: just promise me you'll tell someone about me
me: ok?
t: or nothing can happen....
t: ok
t: i will
me: i know that too
t: remember...
me: its just a tough situation and i'm not walking away baby
me: im not
t: i am not an 11B
me: i know
t: I am a 250N
me: and besides your Zuess
t: exactly...
me: i just sometimes i wonder if you really know
t: I cant disappoint women of the world like that
me: or if it's just all tons of words...and theres no way for me to make you realize
me: im ok
t: really know what...you babe
me: yeah
t: why would you think anything different...
me: if you really know what i say to you is true
t: i beleive in my heart what you say is true
me: i hope so
t: why wouldn't I
me: i don't know it's just sometimes you gotta wonder stuff that you can't really show someone
me: i mean I can't hold you
t: I know....
t: but the difference is....
me: but I don't want you to feel bad...
t: i am used to being deployed and you are not used to that
t: make sense
me: yes
me: it makes a lot of sense
t: not used to knowing someone...
t: and not being able to be with them...
t: and stuff like that
me: but I think its just i've never felt this way about someone and then had it all happen so out of the blue.....so sudden and then wham.....deal with all of this too....and I knew this stuff upfront and I wanted to know you so bad..and I made that choice
me: i'm not sorry about that choice baby
me: ok?
me: i'm not
t: ok
t: I know...
t: but it is a package deal
me: its just....when you find that person you want to make love to 24/7 and you find that person that you just love without seeing it coming...its so hard to not be able to hold them at least once before you gotta let em go
t: awwww...I know baby...trust me on that one...
me: its not the military...its not that you gotta be there
me: its not that you'd be deployed
me: its not waiting a month with no contact
me: all that stuff is a small price to pay to know someone like you
t: ;-)
me: if you wanted to be any part of my life I'd endure every bit of that to have you there in my life
me: its more that I just found you and I can't kiss you...and I cant' hold onto those things while you are gone
t: awwww
me: does that make sense?
t: yes it does baby
t: so now smile for me ok?
me: and then theres that one part of me that says don't let go no matter what.....don't let go and just believe with all your heart and anything can happen me: one mile marker at a time
t: ;-)
me: if you always come front I'm a lucky girl
t: ;-)
me: so.....don't worry about me ok?
t: you are the lucky one or am I?
t: and I will worry about you
t: so humpft
me: well...life was a lot tougher before there was you.... if you have to be gone for a month....life will never be as tough for me as it was before you
me: ok?
me: so don't think that
t: ok...
me: i just want to hold you....and then all the emotions come and I have no where to take them..
me: get that bummed look off your face soldier
me: right now
me: ok?
t: I wish that I could be there to hold you
t: nope....not until you smile
me: there seee?
me: i'm ok
me: i'm always gonna be ok
me: and it doesn't matter what anyone else says
t: I nope cant see yet
me: I know in my heart...i know who you are
t: ok there you are....

me: someday I'm gonna be filling pages
me: white pages staring at me from my computer screen
me: with thousands of words going nowhere
t: ;-)
me: words you won't see
t: but sleep
t: sleep
t: sleep
me: so its hard to go now
me: knowing what will one day be
me: ya know
t: just know that I love you...
me: someday I'll sleep hours and hours just to not miss you
t: and eveything is going to be ok
t: ok
me: ok baby
t: bye for now princess
t: I love you
me: bye bye
t: g'night
me: i love you right front
5:17 a.m. ::
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