cluttering the net since 2001

fart machine

Saturday, Dec. 21, 2002
Today I’m writing again in between trying to figure out what the ($&@ is wrong with my pc that won’t allow my new MP3 player to work. I gotta wait now for my cell phone to recharge so that I can call customer support and have them walk me through it.

One small rant….why is it that when people are sitting behind their pc’s and decide to get up and walk away they don’t think it’s rude to do so without a goodbye. Just log off and split. No goodbye. Well fuck…isn’t that the equivalency of just hanging up a phone mid-sentence? Yeah I think so. I mean geezus type “later”, “goodbye”, “gone” ANYTHING! Don’t you wish that in real life when you were just fed up with a conversation you could just “click” and be out of it? Yeah, but reality is that you can’t. You at least have to retreat towards the door, thereby announcing your leaving. Online…no announcement necessary, just “click”. It’s fucking rude.

Last night I watched this movie….Unfaithful. And while I’m the last person in the world to support infidelity, the sex scenes in this movie are amazing. I also watched Austin Powers Goldmember and laughed so hard…. “on the whole I think Preparation H is good” lol… How can anyone not laugh at the mere lameness?

I got a phone call from BraN and he bought this device while in the USA that generates fart noises. It has a remote control and the noise device can be placed anywhere and operated remotely. So he put the noise device in his couch cushions and one night when two of his bloke friends were over he waited for them to sit side by side on his sofa and he caused it to make noise. The two of his friends got into a fight about who was farting and one of them even exclaimed “dude that stinks…knock it off!” Amazing what the mind can tell the olfactory eh? This is of course far more funnier to me after being told this story while BraN activated his farting device through the phone lines. Quite hilarious. I was laughing so hard I was ready to pee my pants. These are the moments in life that make it worth living. When you laugh so hard you hurt. And those fart sounds were so realistic I had to tell him “go wipe your ass BraN” to which he broke down in laughter saying “in England we call that a bum, be polite!” Be polite? He’s the one farting over the phone! Again another stream of hysterics broke out. That $19.95 he spent in Austin was well worth that 15 minutes of unabashed immaturity over the phone. This is why I totally adore BraN. Because he is like a ten year old with a brain.

He also took the time to explain to me the differences in ECP parallel ports and USB ports. All of that in one phone conversation! And thennnn while speaking his sister called and he told her “be nice and say hello to Kristy” to which she said it via his cell phone into his regular landline to me. And then I said “hello Taryn” in return. Quite a nice guy. When I asked why take all the bother to pass hellos between her and I that way, he simply said, “world peace”. Teehee… He said hello to “Bucky” he always does. He asked him if he liked the candy and wanted more. Of course there was a lot of head nodding about that and BraN saying “well? Do ya?” while he nodded yes over and over in silence. Kids are great. So oblivious to the obvious.

Ok I’m done rambling for now. Oh…one last thing …thanks to blue-candy-b for the nice chat today….I appreciate it! :-)

10:53 p.m. ::
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