flicker of the flame
Friday, Mar. 29, 2002
Last night I stopped at this wrought iron funky kinda shop and bought husband a stand-up candelabra that holds 3 chunky candles. It wasn�t cheap. I splurged. I bought it for husband who has the same love for handcrafted items as I have. I gave him a card. Inside I wrote�
�thank you for being the light in my life that survives the strongest of storms�
He was so happy. He had this huge grin on his face. He grabbed a hold of me and hugged me like madly. He was so cute he kept moving that candelabra all around the house looking for a perfect place for it. This morning when I got up it was sitting in yet another new place.
Yesterday I shredded "him"�s phone number and email address. Shredded it�I tell you. This morning when I came into work I noticed that the phone message pad I wrote it down on made a copy of it. Now it�s staring at me like two giant eyes. I swear it�s screaming my name. I turned the page. I put the book in my desk drawer. But I still hear that voice whispering my name. I did however take the frame with his words to me off my desk and cover it all up with pictures of Bucky. But subconsciously I still know it�s under there�
Emotions are scary. They don�t ask you if you want to party with them. They just course their way through your veins and do as they please. Logic tells me to erase him from my life. Something else screams NO!
I personally think there�s one person out there in the world that can and will make you insane over them. Unfortunately for me I found that person that can play with my soul as if it were a marionette doll and I think he likes the feel of the strings in his fingers. As soon as I slip away from him he tries to grab me back. I think if he calls again I�m going to tell him to either get in his truck or fuck off. Or maybe I�ll just tell him to fuck off. Oh fuck�..we all know I can�t�. If I could I would.
The thing is, I didn�t lie to "him". I just didn�t tell him that I moved back with husband�. Is it any of his business anyways? NO! Did he tell me about Linda? Yeah�.4 months later!
Yesterday I ate fattening cannoli�s and latte for lunch. Last night, my husband (I really need to make up a kewl name for him here) grabbed my butt and told me �you are looking so pretty lately� and all I thought about was those cannoli�s. Guilt guilt guilt�.. grrrr
-PoeticaL
Lights flicker as the candles burn
Molested by the wind
Causing the shadows to dance
Enkindle the inanimate to life
The flicker of light
Illuminating words that I write
Coruscating the darkened room
Words gleaming within my eyes
Lights flicker as the candles burn
Sparking memories of seasons past
Happiness engulfed and gone
Burning within the flames
Lights flicker as the candles burn
The sky grows dark with rain
The candle, my only light
Memories within my words
Lights flicker as the candles burn
Extinguished by the wind
Memories gone with the scent of smoke
Words I have written but have never spoke
The path for me
Is so so easy
Doing nothing's doing something
I am now, I will be
Just me, evermore
The flicker of light
Has laid a path
I need to go
So do not laugh
At me no more
~~~~~~~~
Stop--you see
Nothing that I can
Inner vision's stellar now
Feel the power in my hand
Stop--think now
What will the others say
Do I care anymore?
It's just another day
Stop--don't go
My way--it's just for me
Selfish as it seems, yes, to me
What will be must be
Flicker � Ginger Moon
