cluttering the net since 2001


Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003

Recently I saw someone call his self a “freelance” writer and wondered if it was simply because he submitted an article to an automobile manufacturer’s website regarding their latest model craze. He joined their online forum and then constructed a nifty little article regarding the new model that he himself openly admits he and his wife purchased. Is this

  1. self promotion via free promotion for a large commodity maker of cars?
  2. truly needed information?
  3. something he as a self processed freelance writer got paid for?
  4. something he was commissioned to write?

Or is this title “freelance writer” becoming the mantra for every person that can start an online forum and call themselves a writer?

I doubt this individual earns his steady income being a “freelance writer” or any writer for that matter. So why put on the bogus hat? Why are so many journal wanna be writers (and hey I am as guilty as the rest of em…in that sense) so ready to jump up on the stage and proclaim themselves to be something they simply are not?

I wrote an article once about giving oral sex properly. It was published in a forum frequented by the masses. I got paid in trade, I got a free magazine subscription, and therefore I AM A FREELANCE WRITER???

I think I am going to jump on this bandwagon, after all I am soon losing my title of “Mrs.” and therefore I need a few new titles or at the very least some subtitles at the end of my name. I am Kristy (last name for which I am changing soon to something much more writer’esque as soon as I think of something)…,freelance writer /poet/lyricist/artist/quixotic expert. I will get my book published by Writers Club Press and I’ll be famous, if only in my own mind. I will sell my books online in the likes of Café Press and I’ll speak often of my “novel sales”.

I will write a letter to Dear Abby and have my name in the newsprint therefore I’ll have legitimate publishing in my past I can list on my writing resume. I will take a few weekend classes in writing and call myself a current student of literature. I will write many gratuitous articles for magazines, free advertising for products, things any fool company will gladly give me page space to exploit freely for them. I will praise the uses of furniture polish for Pledge and the like. I will make a name for myself with all of this god given talent I have. After all the World Wide Web is just a springboard for anyone to be a “freelance writer.”

Hi my name is Kristy and it has been two seconds since my last freelance assignment, thank you for reading my self appointed professional rendition of something important that the world can not live without reading today. I can’t say when I’ll be writing again nor can I let you know when I will be published again, in the meantime I will be outfitting my home writing office. (ie. the corner of my living room where my talk box sits on top of my 5 year old desk) I need some post it notes, a few pens and I suppose I ought to have a dictionary and a thesaurus just to make it all legit.

Have a wonderful day, if nothing else, write about it!

Artistic footnote: please forward all antique typewriters to me ASAP. They will add authenticity to my office.

11:02 a.m. ::
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