cluttering the net since 2001

friendship, memories, dallas....

Saturday, Sept. 28, 2002
Wow it sometimes doesn’t take much. As for my prior entry about wanting the book….Sandy bought me the book. Thank you Sandy!! And thank you for …this card too!!! You are truly the best. I appreciate everything you do, your ear, your time, and your friendship most of all. You have proven to me that I can have a female friend that just kicks absolute ass! Thank you! This card cracked me up right away because Unger’s son Anthony’s first and only words right now are “ut oh”. I saw him the other day and his mommy intentionally dropped his juice on the floor so that he would speak. He looked at me and said “ut oh”. Cute kid…. He’s 20 months old. I loved that age. I’ve watched him grow up and that’s always fun to get to do.

Ok so earlier tonight I saw this beautiful photograph…on mydalliance’s diary and almost instantly recognized Dallas, TX but I had to ask just because it didn’t seem possible that I could be looking at what I thought I was looking at. I suppose had I looked at the subject of the entry, which you have to go to the older entries page to see…. I would have had my definitive answer. But I knew. It was the green building!!!! The crisscross building! Once you fall in love with a place, you recall its features for a very long time. You have images in your memory of places and things that might mean little to anyone else. It’s a photographic filmstrip of everything beautiful and wonderful in your life. Dallas was a place full of happy memories, a place where I was happy.

When we first moved to Dallas, I was new to the area. I was scared out of my mind. Small town girl in a big city. I was scared shitless as they say. I cried all night clinging to my husband begging him to “take me home” back to good ole Johnstown, PA where you could count the stoplights in good ‘ole “tire hill”. Yes I grew up in a place called “tire hill” How fucking pathetic is that? But I digress…

Small town girl hits Dallas square in the eye. First person that I met was Mike. Mike was a piano salesman and was gay. Husband met Mike while working as a waiter in restaurants during his previous living stint in Dallas prior to our meeting and marrying. Mike wore eyeliner. Poor little PoeticaL was new to all of this. I sat blushing while Mike showed me picture after picture of hot boys that Mike had “done”. I recall now the “I done this guy one day in the Jacuzzi…I done this guy behind this one bar..” I sat mortified while Mike laughed at my naiveté.

Husband promised me that within 6 months if I still hated Dallas and was afraid of the “big D” that we’d do an about face and drive straight back to “tire hill” and live there forever.

One of the things that husband and I quickly did in Dallas was to drive around site seeing because this was relatively free. A few bucks in gas and we were off on the hot and I do mean HOT highways of Dallas. Every time we drove somewhere I’d fall flat to sleep. We had my Buick Somerset and no AC and August in Dallas will kill an iceberg in ten seconds flat. I would pass out. He’d wake me up to show me things. We started this game whereby we would both yell out “hey look what I discovered” and point in astonishment with large gestures and huge smiles. This was rather comical because husband lived there before. It was all nothing new to him. I think he found joy in taking small town innocent little me and showing me what a big city was like. I found joy in the rearranging of who and what I thought I was. I felt like a ‘big timer’ being the only person in my family to strike out and move away from ‘tire hill’. I remember sending out tons of postcards of the Dallas skyline. I thought I was the shit. And sometimes just thinking that of oneself makes it reality.

Like two idiots we got ourselves a way too nice apartment in Las Colinas, a very affluent neighborhood. We lived in chaparral creek.

Oh yeah we lived right around the corner from the Las Colinas country club. Man…just looking at those floorplans brings back so many memories. We lived there for a year and a half and went from living in a too expensive one bedroom apartment to a too expensive two bedroom apartment. That place was beautiful. I might have to say that as for living anywhere that was the most beautiful place in the world to live. Especially as newlyweds. And while that wasn’t our first apartment, that was in PA across from a horse farm. Boy was that bitch…constant neighing outside the window while trying to get your 20 yr old groove on was nothing less than hysterical.

We had no furniture except a waterbed we paid $150 for when we arrived but we were young and wanted it all. I recall having no television but I was laying out by the pool in a bikini getting roasted tan in the sun thinking I was living a movie star life. Oh …sad sad naïve tire hill small town girl… We were paying $650 for a one bedroom apartment and keep in mind that was in 1991 !! I just did some searching and it appears that 11 years has caused some inflation. I spotted a picture of our old apartments and got all nostalgic. *sniff* *sniff* I truly loved that place. It had this great little breakfast nook and we put our rental table in there and life was good. In those days all we could afford to do was make love all over all those bare empty floors. I used to lay on the floor and roll around like a child and say “wow now tell me baby how many people can say they can do somersaults in their living room?” Those were the days. The days of 36C boobs and a size 11 ass. I was hot. I know that I was. Sadly I thought I was obese. Even at our best we are our own worst enemies! But when I think about that apartment I know that there was something rare and beautiful and good happening there and then.

The first time we drove into downtown Dallas, my husband pointed at a tall building with green neon running up and down the length of it and shouted like a child… “look look I ‘scubbered it” using baby talk. Meaning all along to sound like Christopher Columbus pointing out his newfound discovery. I “discovered” that turned into I ‘scubbered that’ I fell into hysterics because he chose such an odd time to digress into baby talk. From that point on the neon “green” building was the one that was ‘scubbered’. Every time after that that we went to Dallas from Las Colinas (which was so ritzy of a place it had/has marble curbs running all through it…) we would both try to be the first to shout “I ‘scubbered it”

Its been years and years since I even thought about any of this. Tonight when I went to her diary and saw Dallas…it all came flooding back.

I don’t know why ‘mydalliance’ was in Dallas, or why she caught the green neon building with her cam or why I came along and ‘scubbered’ it tonight. But I am glad.

I called husband over and showed him that photo and said, “check this out on this diary I read” He stopped and looked and yelled “I scubbered that…I scubbered that” and everything….everything just felt good. I'm going to go hold husband now cause no matter what...I'm a good person and I'm pretty much thinking that he needs to be held tonight...its been a bitch of a week for him...

1:27 a.m. ::
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