PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

from last night...

Tuesday, Jun. 11, 2002
From last night….

Him: you just piss me off alot
Him: now
Me: what?
Me: what did I do?
Him: look at what i said here
Him: i said
Him: id like to come to fl and see you
Him: have fun
Him: i didnt say i want to take you to NC and marry your ass
Me: I know
Him: ok then
Me: I think you're just mad cause you wanted a different reaction from me
Him: fuck no
Him: i just wanted this

~~~~

Him: Look at it like this
Him: you cant stop me from flying down there no more than i can from you flying here
Me: oh geez
Me: doesn't mean i have to see you
Him: you have an opportunity to meet
Him: no you do not
Me: you'd just fly here even if I wasn't all kewl with it?
Him: maybe
Him: i dont let anyone push me around
Him: you sure know how to complicate the fuck out of anything
Me: no it got complicated all on its own
Me: you have a way of confusing the fuck out of me and then I do stupid things

~~~~

Me: don't come
Me: live your life
Me: be happy
Me: you're fine there
Him: yes i am
Me: and I'm fine here
Me: so lets not fuck things up
Him: and your fine there
Him: but theres a big difference
Me: argh
Me: there's no difference
Me: just say "ok"
Him: im adult and your not
Me: fuck that
Me: that's not what this is about
Him: yes it is

Someone call him up and tell him I went back to husband because I walked out on the plank believing in “him” and he wasn’t there when I got out there. I went back because husband couldn’t keep up his financial end of the bargain. Because I had nowhere to turn to for help. No one else.

I feel so guilty. I need to spill it all. No matter what. I know that I have to. I just can’t find the strength. Because I know then that he’ll truly never speak to me again. I promised too many times to never lie again. He forgave me too many times. It’s over whether I do the right thing or the wrong thing or nothing. I have to give him enough respect to do the right thing even though it can’t change anything
10:10 a.m. ::
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