frown (prose)
Monday, Oct. 07, 2002
Last night I could hear him breathing hard. His lungs were screaming at the night. I tied my limbs into his. I lay there silent imagining that we were one giant fluffy pink bow. I forced myself to forget and just hear every emotion coursing through my veins. He is my home. My past. He is my connection to everything that brought me here. Some of it is good, some of it is bad. Most of it is confusing.
I stopped thinking like that.
I tied my bow a little tighter with my smile. I breathed in his sweaty sleeping skin. On impulse I licked his arm. I remembered who he used to be is the same as who he is now. It�s one big myriad of words tripping over each other to reach my memory and lie to it about how we got here.
And then I closed my thoughts tight. I moved against his side and felt his disease ridden body hot against the bed. I cried down his chest. I took a picture of that love because mostly I forget.
I forgot who he was.
He forgot all about me.
He never stirred.
He slept.
And when I was nearly bedded down in happy thoughts, he awoke at the pain I had caused in his limbs.
I had to move away.
My dreams were raw.
In the morning dawn I sought out a new ear.
His frown told me you should never stay.
