PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

frustrated aggravated.....ANGRY

Tuesday, Apr. 06, 2004
Lately all I feel is angerÖ..and lots of it. AngerÖand I sit and tell myself to let it go. Then it goes away and I feel nothing. Then I sit and struggle with all the things that make me angry and itís back. And then itís back to nothing. Itís a tug of war with emotions.

I had parents during my childhood who cared more about themselves than they did anyone else, so no wonder it angers me that my son is somehow now gifted with a father thatís the same. There it is againÖANGER!

Every statement that wants to come out of my mouth begins with ďAnd thenÖ.. But I am stopping myself. Iím trying so hard to breath in and breath out and Iím here to tell you that 26 weeks of anger management classes donít change a personís true inner feelings. They only make you realize you have to sit and calm yourself down.

Someone told me this morning ďjust remember Kristy your time will come, just keep trudging along and one day itíll be thereÖ.Ē When Iím angry and distraught I really HATE those happy feel good statements that really are nothing but words at that moment.

But then when I breathe in and out a few times I realize that personís probably right.

But in the meantime all I wanna do is pull a background check online and mail it off to exís employer and see if they still wanna pay him and keep him around after they find out heís a Superman of Criminalís.

But then I breathe in and breath out and I realizeÖ.

If I do that, my son will be harmed the most of anyone.

See how frustrated I am?
8:44 a.m. ::
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