It�s 1 a.m. and I�m seriously still awake obsessing about my inability to just �get it� when it comes to algebra.� I just look at the problems and there are so many different ones that I can�t grasp it.� It�s not as if we have a week to master one process.� We have a week to master 2 chapters at a time!� Insanity I tell you!�

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That and the apartment is clean and I feel guilty that I had little to do with it.� I want to call a maid service and find out how much they cost.� I want to say �poof� and fix these seemingly unfixable problems.� ProntO!

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Tomorrow I will slave away at work in a half awake half asleep state and wonder why I�m doing all that I am doing.� I could chuck it all, get a better paying job, say ta ta to the bad drama and move on.� Ohhh but that�s complete failure to chuck it all.� Much better to fail perhaps?

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Gah both options suck. And that suckage is what is keeping me awake when I should just call it a day and sleep.

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Everyone�s sick of hearing my Math woes and disappointments.� Thank freaking all that makes the world go around that I have a great g.p.a. so far because I�m about to go straight downwards into a spiral I can hopefully work my way out of.� Now to just find out if perhaps showing up for class will ensure that I get enough to pass the class.� If so�I�m all about the D and I�ll buy that damned d initial for my charm bracelet o�grades.� Yah I�m such a college greek that I am building such a bracelet.� I can see it now.� A, A, A, B, D, D� hmmm Kristy what are those D�s about?� Years from now they�ll dangle on my bracelet and they�ll perhaps represent all the #*(!&#^^!^! sleepless nights of insomnia and worry and absolute �lost� insanity I am feeling right now.

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I never thought I�d be sleepless in st pete due to math.� I�m so used to being sleepless due to infidelity plaguing my marriage, even sleepless due to repossession, foreclosure�etc.

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Oh hell this is really nothing to be sleepless about in the big scheme of things�

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But�.feeeee uck a truck�.I wish I didn�t have this problem.� Can I buy a passing grade?� Uh�.even I know the answer to that problem is negative.

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At least you my one reader knows now that there is truth in grade advertising�eh?

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Can�t you tell how very destroyed math has made me?� ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

short msg to my son who occasionally reads my rantings....I will for sure still love you in huge amounts even if you fail a Math course!! (even if you fail READING....but don't!!)

p.s. don't email me about my using the F word and my son possibly seeing it. I'm a horrible Mom who told him that I know that word exists instead of letting him believe that only that one kid on the playground uses it.