PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

fur bastards

Wednesday, Sept. 18, 2002
Last night I picked up “Bucky” from tae kwon doe. Husband had to go do a convention for work. So we grabbed some dinner to-go on the way home. It was about to rain, I didn’t want to get stuck in the rain driving the pussy car with a spare tire on it. So, we grab some food. I don’t usually pick him up after work. Daddy does. We walk in the door of the house, arms full of backpacks, homework, chicken, cups, and books. And two fur monsters are there to greet us at the door. This is a bad thing since they are relegated to the sunroom while we are gone. I immediately feel the dread come over me as they jump all over me practically knocking me down. First thing I say, “you guys BETTER have been GOOD PUPPIES”. The stern note in my voice makes them both do an about face and run for the sunroom, and then that’s when I realize they know they’re in trouble….and I glance around the room and am quickly greeted with the fruits of their all day labors. “Bucky” must have noticed at the same time my eyes fell upon the site before me because it went something like this

BUCKY
“OMG, it’s a poop volcano”

MOMMY
“OMG I think I’m going to throw up”

BUCKY
“I’m glad I’m not the Mommyyyy”

MOMMY
“I hate dogs”

BUCKY (holding nose in mock horror)
“I hate dog poop”

MOMMY
“I hate being the Mommy”

BUCKY (as he runs to the clean sunroom)
“I’m going where it doesn’t stink”

I walked around the house slowly and was greeted by landmine of poop hell. Both bedrooms had small battle scars, the war took place in the living room. There must have been small arguments that led to the large battle or perhaps a few stray bullets landed outside of the war zone… I wasn’t there to report the activities. I was however greeted by the evidence. Why don’t they ever poop on the tile????? Just on the newly cleaned off-white carpeting. grrrrrrrrrr

2 poop emptied dogs
5 buckets of spic and span
2 rolls of paper towels
1,000 involuntary gag reflexes
2 trips to the bathroom to vomit
1 skipped dinner
1 vapor locked central air conditioner
95 degrees in the house
my shitty night

THIS MORNING I LOCKED THEM IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM. THOSE BAD FUR BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!


disclaimer: i love those dogs with all my heart, we’re just having some living arrangement problems. ;-) Take up a collection for a digital camera and the next time I get presents I’ll share some crappy pictures. Haaaaa…how gross…

PoeticaL
9:53 a.m. ::
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