PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

god is a man?

Wednesday, Jul. 14, 2004
Most of the time I don’t talk to my ex. It’s more of a passing of the child back and forth with phone calls facilitating the exchanges. I have never been to his home and he rarely comes to my front door. He always brings my son/picks him up because I stated emphatically that he chose “her” to be in his life and that I didn’t. Therefore I was not going to put myself through what I know would be ugly exchanges. Secondly I didn’t and still don’t feel that my son is anyone’s responsibility but his and mine. We have to facilitate, no one else. Occasionally we end up having some sort of longer conversation that starts with something that my son needs, got, or something that has happened while he’s been with him or vice versa that the other doesn’t know about. Today he asked me how I was. This is always an odd question coming from him, because since when does he truly care how I am? He never asked that when I was his wife, so why ask it now? I don’t know, but he did.

And for some reason I chose to answer him. I told him I’ve been having anxiety attacks and am going to go back to the doctor (the same one I saw over a year ago) and get back on the meds. I told him “I think it’s because I have a hard time believing in anyone, believing that they won’t cheat on me or lie to me or rip me all apart again.” To which he had the nerve to say “Well Kristy, it’s been my finding that if you put your life in God’s hands he will always be there for you, he will never cheat on you.”

Gahhhhhhhh…. This is a man who didn’t want to baptize our child. This is a man who was cheating on me for months, years possibly with the next-door neighbors wife (thou shall not covet..). Gahhh I wanted to rip through the phone and bang his head on something. I almost went into a litany of cuss words and I seriously started to see black come in around my eyesight. And then I remembered and told myself with my little voice in my head “this is a man who is a psychopath….remember who you are talking to kristy” So instead of being ugly, I simply stated “How do you know God is a man?” This seriously confused and befuddled him and he changed the subject really fast. Ha!! I rule.

-PoeticaL
1:20 p.m. ::
prev :: next