cluttering the net since 2001

Goodbye Bryan!

Sunday, Jan. 06, 2002

Tonight I ended a long time Internet friendship. (3 years) It just got to the point where I was holding back and listening to bullshit all the time and not speaking my mind. Fuck that. I am not perfect but neither is he. I got tired of listening to the way he spoke about his so-called friends. It all made me wonder how the fuck he was talking about me. I don’t like that shit. And of course its bad to tell me that “he” is a bad influence on me when I have actually gotten my head out of the fucking angst ridden gutter in the last 2 years and I’m not going to let anyone tell me that he’s been a bad influence on me. I have a better job because of his influence. I might be more like him because of his influence but he’s not a bad person. He’s the reason I am alive. SOOOOO Bryan you can kindly fuck off! I’m tired of holding back my opinions and feelings for the sake of saying I have a friend. That is not “friendship” at all!

Bry: I just called off of work..I’m freeee

PoeticaL: why?

Bry: I just didn’t feel like going

PoeticaL: That’s not good, I never call off just because I don’t “feel like” going

Bry: but you have regualr hours and regular days off

PoeticaL: ok

PoeticaL: so…….

Bry: try working my hours sometime

PoeticaL: go get a job where you have regular hours and regular days off...its not cool to call off regardless of your reasons

PoeticaL: if you're not happy with your job get a new one

Bry: yuck, you're getting sickening

Bry: i'm not liking this new incarnation of you

Bry: but, if you want to emulate “him” in every way, have at it..........but you won't have many friends left

PoeticaL: geez

PoeticaL: my opinion about calling off has nothing to do with him

PoeticaL: i've always had that

PoeticaL: always gone to work

PoeticaL: and if I wasn't happy with a job I left it and got a better one

PoeticaL: you and I both know you don't like your job so much...you're stagnate cause you feel you make good money but you don't like that job

PoeticaL: we both know it

PoeticaL: so

PoeticaL: whatever

Bry: yeah, I have my moments, but I'm vested in the retirement part, unless I really had something going that was great, it would be kinda foolish to not get my 30 yrs in at least, which is what is required to get full retirement benefits

Bry: i only have about 9 yrs left to get my 30

PoeticaL: only 9?

PoeticaL: well I hope you make it

PoeticaL: cause otherwise you were miserable for nothing

Bry: i'm not that miserable

PoeticaL: well that's for you to decide not me

PoeticaL: i think you are merely complacent

PoeticaL: i think you are too set in your ways

Bry: to some degree, yes

PoeticaL: scared to do anything else

PoeticaL: so when someone, mainly me! points this stuff out to you you don't like it

PoeticaL: because you are forced to think about it

PoeticaL: if I didn't say this

PoeticaL: you'd trudge through your day like you normally do

PoeticaL: I have learned from “him” to access my life and go after the things that matter to me most

Bry: lol

PoeticaL: and I will NEVER EVER be complacent

PoeticaL: because of a retirement fund

PoeticaL: or any other fucking reason

PoeticaL: ever!

PoeticaL: and if you think I'm full of shit

Bry: lol

Bry: i do

PoeticaL: then ask me how the hell I'm signed up to take classes to do what I truly want to do and where the money came from for my laptop.....I've been working on the side

PoeticaL: doing other shit to get where I want to go

PoeticaL: I got another raise at work

PoeticaL: because I said I was looking to leave and pursue other things

PoeticaL: they gave me another raise on Friday

PoeticaL: to keep me there

PoeticaL: complacency wouldn't have gotten me another raise

PoeticaL: I have things I want to do

PoeticaL: and nothing

PoeticaL: not you

PoeticaL: and your shit about me becoming more like “him” or needing to grow up or anything else is going to change what I'm doing

PoeticaL: you need to understand something about me


PoeticaL: its a BIG responsibility

PoeticaL: and

Bry: boy, “he” created miss frankenstein

PoeticaL: the last few days

PoeticaL: I have had a lot on my mind because I allowed my son to leave the state

PoeticaL: That might not be a great thing for me to do

PoeticaL: I did it for Bucky's sake.

PoeticaL: you think the whole world is about sitting around watching tv eating sandwiches

PoeticaL: you have no clue what real life is about

PoeticaL: if complacency is what you want

PoeticaL: welcome to your life

PoeticaL: thats all it is

Bry: lol

PoeticaL: complacency

PoeticaL: "I have to go to work...I have to work there.....9 more years for retirement"

PoeticaL: yeah

PoeticaL: yippy skippy

Bry: you're on a roll.....

PoeticaL: your so fucking happy you shit smiley faces for turds

PoeticaL: you go to work so that you can buy fancy ass cheese and convince yourself that you have a life

Bry: ok, enough is enough

PoeticaL: that you're happy

PoeticaL: you hang around goofballs like Liz and Greg so that you can feel better about yourself

PoeticaL: otherwise you'd have friends that weren't nut cases

Bry signed off at 2:11:33 AM.

Bry signed on at 2:20:57 AM.

Bry: one more tirade like that and we are no longer going to be friends, if that matters to you.......I've had it with your abusive speech, which you don't even seem to recognize as such, but oh well, it's your choice

Bry: are we at an understanding here?

Bry: hello?

PoeticaL: sure

PoeticaL: the truth hurts don't it?

Bry: sure what?

PoeticaL: sure I understand

Bry: I wonder..... from your last comment you don't seem to

PoeticaL: no I understand

Bry: I'm serious about this

PoeticaL: ok

Bry: may I tell you something?

PoeticaL: yes you can tell me anything you like

Bry: from my own experience....

Bry: sometimes you can take on attributes of people you get close to, good or bad........and from what I can gather, you have taken on some bad attributes from “him”, the analyzing and then trying to depict every "bad aspect" of someone is not good, healthy or anything else. You were not always this way, I know........and me, personally, I don't think it's a good thing, but you do as you wish or see fit, this is just my own personal observation.

PoeticaL: OMG

PoeticaL: you saying this shit to me?

PoeticaL: you?

PoeticaL: mr "lets analyze the fuck out of Liz's codependency"

PoeticaL: you need to go sit down in a chair and think about what you just said to me

Bry: I just did

PoeticaL: hypocrite!

Bry: not hardly

Bry: you are comparing apples to oranges

PoeticaL: no you just said this to me...the analyzing and then trying to depict every "bad aspect" of someone is not good, healthy or anything else. You just don't like the bad aspect that I pointed out.

PoeticaL: It bothers you so badly and terribly because it's the truth.

Bry: no, that's not it at all

PoeticaL: I know because thats how I get when you point certain things out to me.

PoeticaL: I get mad.

Bry: not that there isn't SOME truth to what you have said, you are not really in a place to totally understand and make a fair evaluation of my job

PoeticaL: I know you don't love it and thats all I need to know to know that you trudge along for the sake of money and money is never self fulfilling.

Bry: I'm not mad cuz of what you have said is all truth, because it is not, and to depict me as someone that only hangs around people like" greg and liz" and whatever you said about them, is not a kind thing to say, and unnecessary to say the least

PoeticaL: well I can see partly what you are saying but if they are truly your real "friends" then be a "real" friend back and quit talking such shit about them.

Bry: i don't talk "shit" about greg, and quit telling me what I need to do!!

PoeticaL: From what you tell me Liz is codependent and not worth your time and Gregs bad for not affording a telephone

PoeticaL: do you expect people to be "perfect" before you can say nice things about them?

PoeticaL: I'm positive you talk shit about me to them.

PoeticaL: I'm sure you're not selective about who you put down.

Bry: Look, I'm starting to get pissed about this greg thing ....I never said anything bad about greg, you DUMBASS!!!

PoeticaL: you asked me if I would turn off my phone in order to save money, when I said yes and that I understood Greg's need to do that you told me that was plain STUPID

Bry: oh you're positive huh? well then be positive

PoeticaL: *shrugs*

PoeticaL: I only know what I have been told.

Bry: I haven't but believe what you will, and so what if I said it was stupid?

PoeticaL: he's your friend, he's going through some rough times...be supportive

Bry: I never said greg was stupid, only that his plan wasn't the greatest idea

PoeticaL: or dont' call him your friend!

PoeticaL: its his life


Bry: I am supportive of him, y

PoeticaL: you like to judge everyone else but the minute I judge you you can't take it

Bry: <----throws hands up

Bry: I give up

Bry: this is fritless

Bry: friutless

PoeticaL: you're right....I can't pick fruit off of a tree unwilling to grow

Bry: you go and do your thing with “him” and whoever, I'm going my own way.....good luck

PoeticaL: let me tell you something LOUD AND CLEAR and don't you ever forget it! “him” is ten times the man that you are. TEN FUCKING TIMES! And he isn't a judgemental fuck like you!

Bry: great, good luck

PoeticaL: Bryan you are NOT PERFECT. You need to seriously think about the way in which you judge everyone around you.

PoeticaL: Its sickening.

PoeticaL: Completely.

Bry: goodbye

PoeticaL: Goodbye.

PoeticaL: oh one last thing...if I was to take on anyone’s attributes I'm glad they weren't yours!

PoeticaL: the illusion of job safety and retirement benefits is exactly that whats to say the company won't fire him after . . .ohhh . . . 29 years and whats to say that the company that his company uses to invest his 401k with . . . doesn't go belly up . . .

PoeticaL: a smart man said this and he's fucking right!

Bry: not really

PoeticaL: whatever

Bry: like i said, you don't have a clue

PoeticaL: if you do then I'm glad I don't

Bry: RR Retirement is not a 401k, just for your and his info, so next time understand what you are talking about before you spout off, ok?

PoeticaL: oh but you have to be their whore so to speak for another 9 years of misery....good luck

Bry: you've lost it

PoeticaL: I'm glad

Bry: whatever flots your boat

PoeticaL: listen

Bry: floats

PoeticaL: I'm sick of you

PoeticaL: sick sick sick of your holier than thou shit

PoeticaL: sick of your "I know better than you" attitude

Bry: go jump in a cold lake

PoeticaL: sick of you calling me when I'm busy

PoeticaL: sick of you

PoeticaL: sick sick sick

PoeticaL: entirely sick of your shit

PoeticaL: Fuck Off

PoeticaL: you're so stupid

Bry: good, that's why i said goodbye

PoeticaL: you haven't known for the last 3 months that I've been blowing you off


PoeticaL: I fucking hung up on you

PoeticaL: you called back

PoeticaL: you're pathetic

PoeticaL: you have no one

PoeticaL: no friends

PoeticaL: and for the record


PoeticaL: I think I'd like your fathers wife far better than you. I doubt she talks half as much shit about you. There....now you won't come back talking to me about anything!

PoeticaL: Ever.

PoeticaL: ever.

PoeticaL: we're all done

PoeticaL: finished



PoeticaL: hey..

Mr Entropy: yes?

PoeticaL: would you work for a company for 30 years and be miserable just for the mere "promise" of retirement benefits?

Mr Entropy: nope . . . it probably wouldn't pan out anyway . . .

Mr Entropy: fuck being happy then . . . i want to be happy now . . .

Mr Entropy: fuck old age . . . i won't be able to do anything with my happiness then . . .

Mr Entropy: except die with it . . .

PoeticaL: Josh?

Mr Entropy: yes?

PoeticaL: I love you

PoeticaL: I love you like the birds love their ability to balance on a mere wire in high winds.

Mr Entropy: uhhhh . . . suuuuuuuuurrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee

PoeticaL: I love you like kites love the summer blue sky.

PoeticaL: I love you like a baby loves his pacifier.

Mr Entropy: and why is that?

PoeticaL: I'll show ya soon enough

3:10 a.m. ::
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