PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

lol gotta love diaryland guestbook writers

Thursday, Apr. 29, 2004
This entry is slightly in response to the mean guestbook signer I had yesterday who did get deleted because they signed without a name. Yes, I do want another child. No I am not in a rebound relationship, this is merely a relationship. Just because I met him after my ex split doesn’t mean it’s a rebound. My marriage was long since over prior to the actual event of his leaving. That was a long time coming.

Secondly there was reference to my b.f. having a drug problem. That reference was made to my one long ago entry about his past. His past. Hello? What part of that word and that entry did you not understand? I would suggest you investigate further. My entry was merely about his tendency for blackouts if he drinks. How often does he drink? Very rarely thank you very much. And to borrow my b.f.’s favorite comment…”bullshit!”

As far as my job situation is concerned. I have not changed careers, not since 1998. I have had some different types of jobs but they are all administration related, outside of a job I took that was a collections job. I took that job for a very short period of time while looking for a long-term position. I am currently working an office administrative job, ie this is not a SECRETARIAL position not that that’s bad, most secretaries know more than their bosses and their bosses would be lost without them. My current job…lets see, I just had a 90-day review where I got high review ratings and a raise. Secondly, I am starting a business doing freelance writing, and I have much interest from the outside world about it. I have quite a few connections and the business is trickling in as I type. That business is “Alphabet This!” This is a part time venture and will not affect my employment whatsoever.

Mind altering drugs? This person referred to them. Zoloft is not a mind-altering drug. It’s a brain-altering drug. It increases the serotonin levels in the brain producing a calming affect. I am not currently taking Zoloft. Thank you very much! I probably should be taking Zoloft, at least according to the pharmaceutical world that wants to make money, but I have opted to skip the monthly visits at this time. This is purely a personal decision on my part. I went to a psychiatrist whenever my ex split because he did it in a very similar way to events from my past. It was determined at that time that I was suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder due to abandonment issues triggered from prior experiences. Zoloft was prescribed at my own request not at the recommendation of any doctor. He advised me that I would know when I no longer needed these drugs. I feel I no longer need them, unless or until stressful things trigger my depression. Then I wish I had a bagful of pills. But I would suppose I’m not alone in this thinking on a whole.

When I recently met with Po Bronson and in the past when I had a therapist named Bernie, they both told me that most people that had been through what I have been through in such a short lifetime would be on the streets smoking crack and that I had a good understanding of my situations and past. Both told me this same thing at two different times in my life. I’m sure I have made mistakes. I’m sure that someday I’ll look back on this part of my life and have regrets, and I’m sure I’ll be proud of many things. Of those things I would include the following.

1. I have not only maintained my job, but I increased my income by changing jobs. I have learned two new companies and become an integral part of both of them.
2. I have bought a new vehicle and yet have no monthly payment. I have maintained the tags and upkeep (yah I owe b.f. on this one) as well.
3. I have gone through tons of things and yet I remain hopeful and optimistic about life.

So…to the mean guestbook signer…hahahaha I laugh at you and your lame comments to me. You don’t know me, you don’t know my life and I don’t know you and I’m so very happy about that one.

Furthermore, I’m a great Mommy and I would be thrilled to have another child. Married or not. I was married last time…where’d that get me?

At this point in my life I don’t feel any less importance to the relationship I am currently in just because there is no piece of paper stating we are together. We share everything....

-PoeticaL

11:54 a.m. ::
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