PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

gotta put my ugly away....

Wednesday, Jul. 27, 2005
I haven’t written here or anywhere in so long. The thought occurred to me that tonight whilst sitting through yet another crap Math class I might just sit and doodle and write poetry because my time cannot at this point be more better spent in that course. It’s so apparent that I might just get 1 out of 25 right on the final quiz. I might not.

Last night the man and I went to his bro’s house and played Poker. It was as per usual mass confusion of tons of kids, noise, etc. There were only 4 children there and only two little ones but man was it loud and rambunctious. I think I have gotten used to too much quiet because after a few hours of trying to play Poker without anyone staying at the table longer than 15 minutes at one clip (smoke breaks outside) (twin 2 yr old boys watching Nemo in the background) and (two dogs running under the table, one which kept nudging my legs.) It was sensory overload.

If I didn’t mention this here, this would please the man, but I must say, future brother in law’s girlfriends sister was present (oddly future brother in laws gf’s name is close to mine and her sisters name is Tracy (MY sisters name is Tracy) weird. The fact that f.b.i.l.’s g.f.’s sister was present was no big deal. Until it came to my attention that the fiancé was chatting to her more than I’ve ever seen him talk to a stranger before. Add to that the few drinks he had and I was doing the female is talking to my man irritable dance in my chair. Yes, that dance exists and if you are female at some point and time in your life you have done this dance.

When we left I mentioned my discomfort and yet it all sort of got out of hand. I wasn’t jealous per say, it was more of an awareness that there was someone else sniffing my dog’s ass. I wanted to yank him over into my space and tell her “get yo’ own dog!” But of course I didn’t do that and I had no reason to feel these things outside of hormones and the fact that sometimes I remember things and sometimes I recall how I knew….I just knew and I convinced myself that I was wrong.

But damn it Kristy, that was then and this is now and I tried to say “I was bothered” but somehow it came out as “DID YA have to TALK and TALK and TALK to her like that?”

I even found myself saying, “yah well that’s ok because I was the hottest chic in the room and you’re a lucky guy” or some such ridicules statement. Ok, it’s true, but c’mon I didn’t need to say it out loud. After all it was obvious. ;-)

Being a girl sucks.

Then this morning as nice as pie I asked the man to drop off my car payment for me. And he's ever so nice enough to actually say yes to me. Yah…being a girl does this stuff to a human.
3:59 p.m. ::
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