cluttering the net since 2001


Monday, Jan. 14, 2002
I wrote this poem today about my feelings for “him” and what it’s always like being curled up in a fetal position on the phone speaking to him in the dark…and I posted it in my diary earlier this morning ….. Empty Frame of Love poem and then I got a fax from “him”. I knew he was gonna send it but get this…yeah wait till I say this and even I realize how insane I am….. He “wrote” on it.

To: Kristy (my name..lol)
From: (his name)
Fax number:*@(-!#^-!#~

After almost 3 years this is the first glimpse of his handwriting I have ever seen. You’d think that someone gave me a bar of gold. I stared at that writing like it was evidence of his reality. How stupid! I need help!

Lets not think about the fact that it was a copy of “The Dr Atkins Weight Loss for Life” booklet of some sort that came over too dark to read. I have this strange idea forming in my head.

I’m going to lose this weight then I’m going to laugh in his face and say “haaaa you can’t have me…you couldn’t love me just the way I was!” Oh but that’s the nasty side of me…I know he’s trying to help…but…I would rather someone sent me a poem.

Someone send me a poem…yes I’m begging…please….

P. O. Box 29044
St. Petersburg, FL 33709

I just had another thought….I shoulda sent YOU an envelope full of stamps! I’ve never seen your handwriting either!!!! Grrrr I’m sooo stupid!!!!!!!

Oh wait another thought…. “Delboy” shaves his forearms….over the weekend he shaved his head into this weird 5 year old boy buzz cut…if you’re a guy reading this…DON’T SHAVE YOUR FOREARMS…its NASTY!!!! UT OH….another thought… What if HE does that?


There is one handwritten sentence written in your special handwriting.

As your handwriting exploded
Like an eaten-wired device
Blue and yellow flames it showed it
Every move you made, precise
And all the heat as clear as ice
- Robert Calver
1:24 p.m. ::
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