PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

harassment

Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2002
Unger is my coworker as you know…L is my immediate supervisor….R is the owner and obviously my boss. “J” is a co-worker. K is obviously me…

-----Original Message-----
From: K [mailto:k@work.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 12:03 PM
To: unger@WORK.COM; L@work.com; R@work.com
Subject: just my thoughts about something...
Importance: High

Did you know this is right in our employee manual?

What Is Harassment?

Workplace harassment can take many forms. It may be, but is not limited to, words, signs, offensive jokes, cartoons, pictures, posters, e-mail jokes or statements, pranks, intimidation, physical assaults or contact, or violence. Harassment is not necessarily sexual in nature. It may also take the form of other vocal activity including derogatory statements not directed to the targeted individual but taking place within their hearing. Other prohibited conduct includes written material such as notes, photographs, cartoons, articles of a harassing or offensive nature, and taking retaliatory action against an employee for discussing or making a harassment complaint.

“derogatory statements not directed to the targeted individual but taking place within their hearing”<-----

By the way, I’m not complaining. Just stating a fact that how can any sales force have an upbeat positive attitude amongst them when they are all trying to up each other with negative comments all day long??

One big room full of violators back and forth 8 hours a day. Ever wonder if people said positive things to each other in here all day…maybe positive things would happen. “Positive input means positive outcome.”

-----Original Message-----
From: Unger [mailto:unger@work.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 2:35 PM
To: k@work.com
Subject: RE: just my thoughts about something...

K IS THERE SOMEONE I NEED TO SPEAK TO ,TO RESOLVE ANY ACTIONS OR COMMENTS MADE TO YOU ?THANKS UNGER .

-----Original Message-----
From: K [mailto:k@work.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 2:52 PM
To: 'Unger’
Subject: RE: just my thoughts about something...

Yeah you might want to try speaking to yourself. I’m pretty easy going but you yourself made a comment to me that cut really close. I let it ride, because I’m not about making a big issue about something that I feel you didn’t say with malicious or mean intent. You told me something to the effect of my waiting for someone to return after going for beer or something. I can’t remember your exact statement. But it was in my opinion referring to the fact that my husband split out after saying he was going to get hamburgers for dinner, being that you are aware of that information.

I know you’re not so cold hearted as to not realize that the last 2 years of my personal life have been quite difficult to say the least. I used to be open about these things with you previously. In light of 5 additional people coming aboard I haven’t broadcast my personal life around the company as it is personal and why would I offer up information that could later be detrimental to myself. I can only tell you that not knowing where your child is, or waiting for someone to return is not something that you go through without having some tenderness later to it being referenced. And I realize that your comment wasn’t probably ever made to offend me and maybe I’m too overly sensitive on that issue. But it was and does still remain a difficult one. When I still feel compelled to follow my husband when he says he’s taking “Bucky” for a haircut, obviously I’m still struggling with my own issues. So knowing this, I wasn’t going to say anything. In other words, blow it off.

Like I said above, I know that you meant little by it. My below comments were made in light of that. Some things are said lightly and without intent. I don’t know “J”’s personal life and I’d rather not know half of the things that get said sometimes. But sometimes I wonder how many of these comments get said and are bothering anyone else in this room but they try to blow it off and not let it get to them. I can only say that if “J”’s having problems in his marriage, I doubt that it’s too easy for him to listen to comments even near to those issues when he’s “perhaps” dealing with enough of it at home. And no this isn’t just about “J”, because I’m not taking sides, I’m simply saying that I don’t want anyone to come to *company name* and be made to feel badly about anything and I know you don’t either.

Granted I don’t know what his personal life is, just like I don’t know anyone else’s. I can only tell you that what sometimes gets said in the banter every day in here, might not be such a positive thing for a group of guys that are supposed to be sales people sounding happy and positive.

Let me finish by saying, I harbor no bad feelings towards you for anything you’ve said to me ever. And you don’t need to apologize to me. I’m adult enough to know that you had no intent on saying anything to me that was going to bother me. This morning everyone was riding all over “J” about his wife, his life at home…etc. Whatever the relationship is between he and his wife, it’s quite frankly none of our business. He puts a lot of this on himself by discussing his personal life with her openly to the room. This makes a target out of him and its unfortunate that he doesn’t seem to recognize that he’s doing it to himself in a sense.

I just don’t like to think that this is the way things are heading. To where people are made to feel bad while being here at work. It is a lighthearted easy going place to work. I just don’t want to see someone lose it and stand up and start throwing punches when I really don’t think anyone in this room has malicious intent.

Let me just end in saying that I probably owe you an apology for not just approaching you the day you made that comment to me and resolving it that day. I know for me walking around feeling badly about it, thinking about it and wondering about it, has not been a good thing. And I now see that I didn’t handle it correctly and for that I’m sorry Unger. I just saw this stuff happening this morning and wonder if someone else is walking around not handling things correctly. As far as I’m concerned this is a mute issue. Live and learn. Next time I’ll come speak to you myself. I have told you things in confidence that I don’t tell this entire room because I do have respect for you. We’ve had a revolving door sometimes, but you and I have both been here together for the longest. I don’t want to ever be sorry that I trusted you with certain things. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to wonder if you could trust me in return.

Ok I said what I have to say. I’m fine. I have no hard feelings.

I then got an email from R sent to Unger and myself…. Where R is asking Unger to take care of my first email and report back to him. So I forwarded a copy of my mail to Unger to R first stating…

-----Original Message-----
From: K [mailto:k@work.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 3:17 PM
To: 'R@work.com'
Subject: FW: just my thoughts about something...

R,

I’m sharing this with you in an effort to have open communication. I’m not angry with Unger whatsoever. I just felt the need to address it rather than continue to harbor any issue myself and make light of the fact that I was silent and perhaps have others do that also. This is not an attempt to be “telling on” Unger by any means. I’m not upset with him. If you have questions, I’ll be happy to speak to you myself.

K

~~~~~~~~~~~

In addition to this shit, today was the day that they decided to inform us that we cannot spend longer than five minutes on a phone call and any “Internet” usage not ‘deemed’ work related is justifiable cause for termination.

Time to go job shopping. Seems like I make it somewhere all of a year or so and then I’m miserable about something or other. I really just want to quit and go to school but it’s just not in the cards. I really just want to walk away from most every part of my life right now except for my son. Yeah I’m depressed….that’s right on target….*sigh*

No more brilliant daily updates throughout the day about my day. I”ll have to take notes in a book and bombard them in at night. Grrrrrr

-PoeticaL
8:08 p.m. ::
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