cluttering the net since 2001

he said....

Friday, May. 03, 2002
he said we were friends
i think friendship lasts far longer than love
he said that he cares about me
i think caring is something he knows too little of
he said he didn’t bail when he found her
i think he actually tried to get closer
he said i was no longer his problem
i think he feels badly that he caused the problem I have
he said i should appreciate what i have
i think he doesn’t know the truth of what i lack
he said i shouldn’t burn the bridge of friendship
i think i’ve held too tight to that match
he said he’s always been there
i think i wish i could dispute this but i can’t
he said that i would tell him what “this” was
i think “this” was everything i have no category for
he said he’d keep calling until i explained
i think i ache because he doesn’t let me run from myself
he said “what is this? This is just this? What the hell is “THIS?”
i think i wanted him to show me he has feelings too
he said i don’t understand how you fell in love
i think he doesn’t know what “this” love is or know that i felt it true
he said he didn’t bail said he didn’t go he said he didn’t hurt me said he didn’t know
he said he just didn’t KNOW things and said he didn’t get it
he said he didn’t show things and said that now he didn’t regret it
he said i did this to myself
he said i always blamed him just to blame someone else
he said he didn’t hate me and that he didn’t shove me away
he said he was a good thing for me and..
he said that god had found a way
he said that i should appreciate things, “the things that are right in front of you today!”
he said...and he said…and then he said...
...he never loved me

...and i think i have now loved him long enough
9:19 p.m. ::
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