cluttering the net since 2001

house of sand and fog

Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2004
Today I started a different schedule. No more early Monday's for me at Millerhell. I will also be able to have my son here way more often and for this I am grateful. It only took 3 months of whining and the like with Mr. Miller. That and a few write up's about being late and not going to work at all. (ie: Friday) for him to realize I need to follow the court ordered custody arrangement and so I finally got the schedule I needed and wanted. My two long days will be Mon and Tues and then short the rest of the week.

I'm going to approach ex about my having and keeping my son all summer (except for every other weekend or so with Dad) since he's had him the majority of the past year. I'm sure he'll jump at the chance to have more time with his new ho so I think it'll work out for me. Besides...it'll be great to have summertime with him because he has days off when I could have him all morning with me and then take him to daycare whenever I have to go to work. Maybe ex will agree to have him every Mon & Tues throughout the summer and he can stay with me the rest of the time. That'd be great...so cross your fingers. I'm going to call him when he's at work and not under the influence of the monster he lives with. Whenever I try to speak to him when he's at home and with her...she's in the background telling my son to hang up on me, and then speaking her crap to ex while we speak about my son. This drives me insane because she's not my son's anything. She's simply my ex's ho like I stated earlier. She has nothing to do with how, when or what goes on with my son. Nothing. Those decisions have been mapped out in court and her name wasn't any part of them. Futhermore she doesn't provide for my son in any way..she can't even afford her own child. Ex pays for that stuff too. And in the meantime my son asks me for the things Dad can't afford because he's providing for her child. Aggravated??? Sometimes. I simply have decided to do everything I can for my son, provide everything possible and besides..life has a funny way of working itself out. I just want to spend this summer with my son.

Last night bf and I went to see House of Sand & Fog I love Jennifer Connelly and have for a long time. I saw Requiem for a Dream, Waking the Dead, Beautiful Mind...and just about every other film she's been in lately. I even saw Hulk, and while that movie sucked ass, her role was good. The House of Sand and Fog isn't one of those movies to see if you just want to be entertained mindlessly. It's sad, it's frustrating...but it was good. And it was nice to sit in a movie theater all alone with bf. We were in there all alone. Very nice. But the ending...I didn't get it. I'm reading the book now to see if it's different. I hope it is. (the picture above is from the movie...)

I love my boyfriend....he wonders too often I think. I need him, more than I wish I did. I want him to want me like he always has, just like I want him back. Tonight I heard these lyrics...and...yah that's how I feel about bf.


I love you oh so well
Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow
I love you oh so well
Enough to fill up heaven overflow and fill hell

-Dave Matthews

"Just because it happened to you before doesn't mean it will happen to you again."
12:13 a.m. ::
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