PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

how many interviews can one girl go on in one week?

Thursday, Sept. 04, 2003
I am direction dyslexic. Mapquest and yahoo maps, they are my best friends. But sometimes even with their valuable friendshipís in my back pocket, I tend to still get lost. Sometimes I am so fearful that I will get lost, or that I wonít find the place in time that I just lose it. It stresses me out and I always look at it like its akin to not being able to read a sign right or find my way right. This is stressful always. If I have to go to a place I donít know about or havenít been to or am unsure of the directions then I am stressed out right off the bat. If I almost get there and canít find it or I find it but canít get there, yes the latter does happen when you have this affliction, then I get even more stressed out. I try not to, but this is my biggest psychological anxiety trigger.

I got almost there today, to an interview and then I felt lost and I couldnít breath right, and I called home to speak to bf. Well bf told me, but I was going the wrong way, I couldnít get my bearings and I was stressing out big time. So Iím sure I went postal on him, but then it turned into a big whore of a fight. The kind of fight worth selling tickets to but Iím not sure anyone would buy them, but it was a doozie while I was still on the road and someone hung up on someone. That always happens. Either way Iím sure I was wrong but he was wrong too.

I donít like fighting least of all when itís pretty much over nothing. I get lost all of the time. I need a navigational deal in my truck that points my ass in the right direction. I called ex and he told me how to get there. He ignored my psychotic bitchy mood, but then again heís used to my direction dyslexia. He also told me where the hell south belcher avenue was too so Iím all set for tomorrow.

9:06 p.m. ::
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