illin'?
t: ;-)
me: hey you
t: hey you....
t: how ya doing
me: ok but can i tell you about somethin
t: whats that babe
me: yoyo...somethings been wrong with him physically
me: last week and a half or something
t: whats that?
me: so he went to the doctor
me: a few days ago
t: ok
me: they sent him to get an MRI right away
me: he can hardly walk right
t: ok
me: he's hobbling around complaining about his legs...being numb
t: ok
me: so anyways....this is gonna sound bad on my part but...
me: here goes
me: i gotta tell someone
me: its driving me nuts
t: ok
me: when they wanted him to go
me: i didn't go with him
t: ok
me: he called me wanting me to go to the MRI thing with him
me: I begged off saying I couldn't leave work
t: ok
me: but as bad as this is
me: I just don't really care
me: its not in my heart to care
me: how horrible am I?
me: i mean...I don't wish him bad...I just really don't feel anything about it
t: not at all
me: so just now.....this is why I'm saying this..
t: ok
me: just now some other doctors office called saying he needs to go in there on Monday at 2:30 p.m. for the results
t: ok
me: and I say "ok what's this doctors name and stuff?"
t: ok
me: and this chick says "you dont' even know where your husband went to the doctor when he's sick?"
me: I got sorta ticked....like its any of her business..
t: yep
me: so I said "nope...you wanna call his girlfriend in NY and tell her? maybe she cares???"
t: LOL
t: and?
me: then she was just like "um...ok let me give you the phone number...you will give it to him won't you?"
t: LOL
t: ok
me: I said, "hey I'm not the bad one here, he's the cheater...I'll give it to him, from now on mind your own business ..k?"
t: lol
me: i know...see how nasty I am
t: not at all
me: but then see... heres the thing
t: whats that
me: the last time I was always trying to avoid him...get away from him etc.....
me: he claimed chest pains
t: yep
me: we spent all this money on tests..doctors...drugs...
me: and then nothing ever came of it
me: all tests came back inconclusive
me: so he can go play sick all by himself
me: i don't care
t: right
me: its all some load of "lets make her care about me again" crap
t: ok...and
me: and I'm not going on Monday
me: and if somethings wrong with him...oh well...
me: and yup...this makes me wonder what kind of nasty person I am
t: not at all
t: do you think it is a ploy
me: yesterday he was hobbling around the kitchen like he couldn't walk right...
me: then a half hour later or so he was in Bucky's room tickling him
me: I Just don't buy that
t: true
t: true
me: if I don't feel well I'm not feeling well always
t: yep
me: but it sucks cause there's that part of you that's like "oh nice...watch them tell him he's got some neurological disorder that's fatal and I'll be aghast with shame"
t: nope
me: does any of this make any sense?
t: yes it does
me: this stupidity has been goin on for days now
t: ok
me: and I just ignore him and his "my legs this..." "my legs that.."
me: I want to say "hey you're legs were working fine when you were knee deep in your whore....go tell her about it"
t: yep
t: LOL
me: i can't help it
me: this is just how I feel
me: there's just that really good person inside of me screaming "how did i get so cold like this?"
me: it sorta breaks my heart
t: nobody can blame you
me: argh...so ya see the crap I have flying through my head?
t: yep..
t: my baby...
t: *muah*
t: all better?
me: ty t
me: just ty for letting me tell someone
t: :-)
me: i'm really not this wicked girl...with wicked bad I dont' give a f**k thoughts"
t: I know babe
me: he made me numb
me: towards him
me: he did that not me
t: true