PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

i need to breath

Thursday, Aug. 29, 2002
When you�re screaming �I fucking hate you� over phone lines for 15 minutes, it�s just time to do something. I think I met my final straw ten minutes ago. At lunchtime today I�m going to buy a ticket and I�m going to hang out with someone for the weekend. I don�t think he�s ever going to get anything I try to say. Let�s just say, he stole every penny I had in my pocket without a word, without remorse. My son has no lunch money and Daddy spent $65 on doctors bills for an illness that�s I believe is self created! And when I questioned him he said, �so what�.

I think I�m gonna go spend a week somewhere else. I get paid tomorrow and I�m going to go catch a plane. I just know that I reached out to someone and they more than reached back and right now I really need someone to just be my friend. I swear if I�m wrong to trust him again, I�m going to be in sad shape. But I gotta trust someone and we all know I can�t trust the one I live with.

And yeah�t�.t�s the only person I truly care about outside of Bucky, but t�s a world away and he can�t do anything�and �I gotta do something all by myself and do the best thing I can. A thousand emails isn�t going to fix any of this.

His words.. �that stuff is just not kewl, if you need to come up and just chill and you need time, I�ll hold ya, we�ll talk, I�ll do the best I can to be there for you�.if you need somewhere to breath��

Yeah he said, �if you need somewhere to breath�� And I am just so tired of turning blue.. I didn�t call and ask him for anything. I called in tears and he was willing to be there for me all by himself.
9:31 a.m. ::
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