PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

inferior

Thursday, Nov. 14, 2002
For the last few days I have doubted my own abilities in certain areas. I think a lot of these feelings have arisen due to my attempts to write a novel and the pressure I put on myself for perfection, not just self publishable material, but something extraordinary. It is however a masterpiece not a project. Add to that my desire to quit my job and go to college fulltime without the ability to do so at this point in my life and I feel frustrated and inferior somehow. This morning I asked Bran for advice on securing text on websites. He gave me a long list of things I could do, provided I were well versed on certain programming, which prompted me to admit these feelings to someone. I have a difficult time expressing them to anyone. I lamely tried last night. How do you say, “I want to be so much more than I currently am in so many areas and I feel stunted by life’s current obstacles and circumstances”? I suppose like I just did, but it's been quite a few days of looking for the right words. I think they arrived after this exchange with Bran this morning. I am blessed to have his friendship. I am so blessed to have the friendships I have, one of which remains unmentioned but in my heart as I write this now.

-----Original Message-----
From: , Bran
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 10:10 AM
To: 'Kristy '
Subject: RE:

If you want to make it difficult to copy and paste your text store it as an encrypted image. Getting text from an image is harder than copying it from a standard document or file. You can also emboss it slightly ie. you can have a faint graphic on top of the text so that if they do just "copy" the image it will show the graphic below it too.

-----Original Message-----
From: Kristy
Sent: 14 November 2002 15:38
To: , Bran
Subject: RE:

That's all the stuff smart boys like your self would do. Hmm... me a stupid American girl. *sigh*

All the boys I talk to are too smart for me. I feel inferior 99% of the time. I wonder why they want to even talk to me. I have issues, eh?

-----Original Message-----

From: , Bran
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 10:31 AM
To: 'Kristy '
Subject: RE:

nope....the only issues you got is that you know things they dont and vice versa...any fool can learn anything..i dont know how to skydive but that doesnt mean i got issues because i dont know seeee? ...i can't write poetry for sh*t...so does this make me inferior?

Remember my first poem i tried....

I'm a bee,
I like Kristee
doo bee dee
doo bee doo
you can be like me...if you want.....too ;)

hehehehe

-----Original Message-----
From: Kristy
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 11:11 AM
To: ', Bran'
Subject: RE:

You're the best. You always have this way of putting things into a new perspective in the nicest of ways. Add that quality to that long list of things I said about you last week. Somehow you make everything better.
Thanks BraN.

-----Original Message-----
From: Bran
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 11:12 AM
To: 'Kristy'
Subject: RE:

NO PROBS...any time

-----Original Message-----
From: Kristy
Sent: 14 November 2002 16:30
To: Bran
Subject: RE:

I started to write my novel and all those feelings of perfection and desire to write a kickass novel and then struggling because I've never written fiction have made me feel inferior all over the place. Stupid I know, but stare at a blank screen for 2 hours a night and you start to feel horrible.

-----Original Message-----
From: Bran
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 11:34 AM
To: 'Kristy'
Subject: RE:

you just got writers block...what you have to do is put it aside and get on with other things....have a notepad and pen next to your bed..that way if you wake up in the night or the morning you can write all your awe-inspiring thoughts down quickly...If you also put your thoughts aside and think about other things ideas should naturally flow to your head....

remember when you want to say something but forget what it is...as soon as you dont think about that "something" shaaazammmm..it comes back to you !

11:44 a.m. ::
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