cluttering the net since 2001

insanity multiplies with false belief

Monday, Nov. 03, 2003
another day.... *sigh*

This morning we got up together, and I'm now home in the evening alone. The coffee pot is hot ...oh wait..he just called. He worked at one location this morning and he's at the normal other one tonight. He called....awwww...just to let me know where he was. swwwweet!

This week is a 'broke' week. Sometimes I have 'em. Weeks where I have to survive on $30 total. This means no trips to Starbucks, no bookstore purchases, and no extra's for spoiling the kiddo. (Although I did buy him a kickass...and I do mean kickass...pair of Levi jeans at a thrift shop on Sat.) Yup I spent $8 I didn't have to spair on a pair of Levi jeans (brand new...I'm telling ya I retailed em online for $55!!!), a fall Venezia jacket for myself, a red Hilfiger t-shirt with a surfboard on the upper back and a pair of Spongebob boxer shorts for the man. All for $8. In the state of Florida I swear there must reside a bunch of lunatics hellbent on wasting cash, because they buy designer clothes they never appear to wear. (I swear these clothes look and feel and smell brand new!!!! I washed them anyways.) I find the kewlest nicest stuff at this one thrift shop that shall remain nameless here because I don't want the masses here in Florida to know where to go. It's never crowded there, and I get the nicest things there for myself, BF and child. The jeans for Bucky... I gave them to him and they fit perfect and he looks too cute in jeans. Too cute for words. And even ex-man stated that they were great and he had no clue at all that I got a killer price of $2.50 on half price Saturday day at the thrift shop. Yes... $2.50 for a pair of kids jeans. I rule. This is the same thrift shop where I bought a pair of kickass black strappy Nine West sandals (in the original box!!!) for $3.00. Also the same place where I snagged a GAP purse that retailed online for $15.99 for a whopping $1.75. I love thrift shopping. Totally. Even better than ebay!

I'm currently still reading "caramello". I've read a few bad reviews on this book and those people can go suck a lemon. The book is really good. Trust me.

Next on the list to read....? I'm not sure yet.

I want to interject here because I just thought of it, BF moved the living room around and it looks like a brand new apartment just because one room did a flip flop. I have found that there are two sorts of people in the world. Those that move furniture and those that don't. The latter people are still in a rut so they aren't available for comment on my theory.

Paul Westerberg has a new CD out. It rocks. It's replacement'esque. It's really so much better than his last release.

Nanowrimo is going on right now, and I'm not writing. I haven't been writing. A few people have asked me what I've been writing lately. I have decided that I want to once again be a closet writer. I was hammering out more wordage when I wasn't feeling the need for a ticker tape parade to announce what I was writing, planning and/or doing. I truly was. Now I'm reading, dissecting, feeling mentally too healthy to purge my soul. I'm thinking that having clinical health.....it's hurting my creative wealth.

THe thing of it is, when I'm aware of my self destruction..this is when I am the most intact. When I know I'm about to wig out over nothing but the lack of serotonin in my brain, I grab my dog, rub her and wait for the moment of personal fray'ness to take effect. It is then...that moment when I realize that I have accurately acknowledged my own downfall that I am the most high.

Last night he moved around in the bed, obviously irritated with my sawing logs during the downtime. I know he was infuriated, and I ignored it. I didn't feed his aggitation with my own, and though it embered, it didn't flame and neither of us were burnt under the heat of the 3rd degree.

I have a palm that is turned into a rose by the hands of a homeless man. I bought this rose with 50 cents but mostly I am in awe of the dime's worth of thoughts that have multiplied with repeated gazes onto each petal bent.

A glass of milk, a slice of cake a bitten lip and then escape...


Insanity multiplies when it's fed by attention. I laugh the loudest...because I can hear all of my voices when you can only read one. Sometimes I say fucked up things just because I can.
8:00 p.m. ::
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