in vain - poem
Monday, Nov. 11, 2002
Sometimes a thousand things come to me all at once and end up making no sense at all�.like this�I�m actually ok, I just need someone far more than I wish I did. I wish I needed nothing. Nothing is easy to get�easier to keep..in vain
I wish that I could go back
simply with one flick of wrists
undo the threads in me that
tie themselves too
tight to everything that is you
take away that thing from then that is everything that is now this
and then again
would that ever make me free?
without you there I still can't hide from me
I shouldn�t wonder about you.
Or count the questions I have
So little answer for.
No matter what I can�t make
You�re red turn into purple
Nor make you ache for more
Where would I be
Had I not let you lead?
Just tie me tighter
Away from my fear
I�m afraid I would still
Be sitting right there
Waiting to die
From the way I bled
This struggle to become
Something I haven�t yet
Is about my wishing to
Want you
Instead of knowing it is all
Something I cling to
Because I need you instead
So tie me tight
I�ll cut myself loose
Before I strangle
From hanging on
Your offered noose
Sometimes I wish I were just dead
Death has silence
And all I hear is the panic
Of my constant dread
A bad rhyme always tells
The tale
When I�m scared I can�t
Speak clearly from
My muffled hell
And so before you
Write me a letter
Don�t think twice
Just once about how
You should have been
Something so much better
Cut the veins
I�ll fly away
And without your wings
I�ll die today
-PoeticaL
