cluttering the net since 2001

it's over.... we broke up :-(

Tuesday, Apr. 01, 2003
Last night Rick and I broke up. :-( He’s mad at me because he thinks I’m in love with “him”. He’s mad because I am going to move to NC. He thinks I suck. I think he sucks. He lay around the apartment all day yesterday instead of logging some overtime at work. I was very angry when I got home. I was already in a bad mood about my truck being hit and I suppose I just went off on him. He got very angry and started to throw shit around the apartment. Then oddly enough he went to sleep. Randy came over and woke me up around midnight and was telling me “don’t you care about my brother? Who’s the guy in NC anyways? Who are you talking to in NC??? I replied meekly, “a friend of mine, I’m not going to stop talking to my friends ya know, and it’s a money thing, a money opportunity, I WANT MY kid BACK!” And then I guess because Randy and I got loud, here came Rick out of the bedroom to see what was wrong. Ugh. He had that look on his face, the one that I can never figure out. The one that says, “what the fuck?” or is it just the “fuck” look? I never know. I was restless, he was on the couch. I was packing my clothes in my suitcase, he was pouting and smoking my pack of “only when I drink” smokes. He was coming in and out grabbing one after the other. I laid on the bed crying, wanting to fix it all, not understanding anything. I packed and then unpacked, and then I left the suitcase full of hangers and panties, a new life full of hangers and panties. Yes that was the answer at 3 a.m. And then I thought maybe I need those drugs, like the ex says. The shrink says no, but the ex says yes. But the ex is gone and who cares what he thinks. I’m all over the road thinking…I was that is. And then he came into the room and picked up his keys and said it was over, that he was tired of all my drama and then I cried all night. I couldn’t stop. I’m at work…crying….it’s over. I can’t believe it’s over. Thank God its April Fools Day and this whole entry is total shit you fool! ;-)
8:50 a.m. ::
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