PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

1 2 3 i just need a damn jobbie

Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004
So I’m at the library between interviews. I had one…it’s a temp assignment doing lameness but it pays enough that if I do it for even a week or so I’ll have enough money along with what I have saved already to keep the bills paid until the end of August including the rent I think. So I should be o.k.

The next interview is something that I’m truly interested in…working as a staff coordinator for a staffing agency. Yah…after a week and a half of this hunting for a job thing it’d be justification to help other people find jobs….so I’m sitting here crossed eyed, cross legged and cross fingered with hope. Because it’s something I’d like to do. Then I have an interview for a very well known college in the area. It’s not my typical position and there are “down times” where I was told I could read study etc. And I could go to college…FREE! Yah…you heard me…or rather read me. FREE! That’d be sweet. I could totally get into that. The pay is a little less than I’d like but a little more than I need to pay my bills if I’m as frugal as a pack of Ramen. The college is one you’d know if I gave you the name. You’d be like “ohhh yahhh”.

My mood has improved because of events of last night…and while I could divulge..I won’t.

My former boss who I suspected of sabotaging me with a bad reference perhaps is out of town. Yup…out of town. I got a decoy to go in and hunt for information about what he’s saying about me and my decoy got a big “he’s out of town and there’s no one else you can talk to”. I hope he’s on a big trip abroad having a blast.

Last night Cathy….she wanted me to pick her up from where she lives with her b.f. and take her to meet some other dude. So I go there against my better feelings about the entire mess and get this. She’s gone already and told the b.f. that she was meeting me at the Wayside. Which is a crap bar. So I say “uh ok…I guess I’ll go there and meet her.” I leave. Never mind that I’m jobless spending my gas to help her cheat when I don’t agree…nevermind that she couldn’t at least call from a payphone and say nevermind. Nevermind the shit she pulled….but I digress….. A few hours later she calls me from her home. I call back a half hour later and she’s no longer there and her b.f. answers and says “uh she just came back and changed her clothes and left again telling me you were at the corner grocery store waiting to pick her back up. I asked her why you didn’t come here with her and she didn’t have a good answer. What the fucks going on?” I’m sitting there like “uh..er….um…hmm..” And then something just snapped and I said, “uh you’re girlfriend called me for a ride to her other b.f.’s house and then wasn’t home when I got there and I haven’t a damn clue where she is right now..and if I was going to be her alibi then it woulda been hella nice if she had told me the lies she was gonna tell so I had the option of doing what she asked….and furthermore I tell you this because lying sucks and I’m over it all.” That bozo says “hey thanks for being honest with me…what’s your number…maybe I’ll call you sometime…I’m gonna pack my shit and leave.” I end the conversation and hang up.

This morning Cathy calls me bitching up a storm about how I ratted her ass out and she’s going to call R and make trouble for me by trying to tell him things she thinks he doesn’t know. Hmmm…. Too damn bad I’ve taken the high road of total honesty all the way across the board. She thinks she’s going to divulge some secret information about my online friend Bryan having bought airline tickets wanting me to go to Texas and meet him as if R doesn’t know. Well I have news for her and everyone else. R knows everything. I’ve told him about Bryan’s tickets and how they came to be. I’ve told him about Cathy’s cheating episode and I’ve truly finally figured out that lying is not the answer to anything. While I almost understand why she’s confused I cannot go along with the notion that it’s ok to lie to someone. I just can’t. And of course now in her mind I’m the scapegoat…the bitch who told her b.f. (b.f. #1) that she was out with b.f. #2. Whatever!!! I wonder if #2 knows about #1 yet??? She told on her damn self the minute she decided to be untruthful and tell him a pack of lies. He already knew she didn’t answer the phone when he was there unless he was sleeping. He’s not stupid. Most people aren’t.

I haven’t talked to Bryan in days and the tickets are not far away…and I’m not going. He never asked. He just bought them and forwarded a priceline.com report. I’m sure I’m avoiding the nasty end all be all conversation that might take place about how he spent money on tickets in hopes that I cared enough to go and now I’m again a bitch because I won’t be getting on that plane. Whatever! I didn’t much go for his half assed opinions of R when he’s clueless as well. I don’t even like Bryan anymore. Bryan and his long winded speeches about how perfect he is.

I know who I love. I know what I want. I know there are those that think what R and I have isn’t about love and love isn’t about the messes we’ve been through but that’s ok too. You’re not me. You’re not living my life. You only know bits and pieces of it.

-PoeticaL
12:04 p.m. ::
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