cluttering the net since 2001

i pissed karma off...

Thursday, May. 16, 2002
I just stiffed a waitress. It wasnít because she gave bad service, or said anything rude or did anything wrong. It was because I am cash poor and was food hungry. I did however remember her name and know their address and so Iím gonna hook her up in the mail.

Does that count? *sigh* I doubt it. However, right after this incident I was driving back to work and almost got into a car accident. Karmaís after me, I tell ya. Heís on my tail now. And to think I was recording her name and making plans of mailing my tip before the almost death. Well, I could have left her a 50 cent tip but that would have been insulting. This way, I can mail her a letter and explain that it slipped my mind at the time and I realized it when I was half way to work.

Oh hell, thatís not going to work because that goes against my new vow to be brutally honest and always. Ok so hereís the note Iíll mail her.

Dear Luisa,

I was poor last week, but Iím rich now and I needed to eat last week, and while I paid for my food I was a total shithead and stiffed you out of your well deserved tip. I didnít forget. I ate and paid my check and was a complete jerk.

Not that this makes up for it now, but hereís your tip, inflated of course due to interest, fees and all apologies.

A humble customer

Maybe Iíll just go give her some cash tomorrow and apologize in person. How embarrassing do you think that would be? Fuck, I feel like shit now, I think itís indigestion associated with guilt. Wait, perhaps she knew I was low on cash and so she spit a looger in my ravioli. I gotta go puke nowÖ It sucks being poor on Thursdays.


DIE LIKE A DOG--I was working as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant on Speedway Boulevard, when these sorry bastards stiffed me on a tip during a busy lunchtime rush. Infuriated, I scurried off to the back room and penned this song of revenge. Someday, I'll meet up with them again. For now, this song remains the sole legacy of that infamous encounter. -Fish Karma


Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin' at fools like me
Who in the hell d'you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
-John Lennon
12:50 p.m. ::
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