keep me warm (poem)
Friday, Jan. 17, 2003
So right now I�m a little agitated with this apartment complex that I�m trying to move into. They are so damn slow. I swear. Don�t they understand that I am currently �HOMELESS�??? Well, technically I�m not. I�m not even sure I�m ready to go live all by myself again.
My son is going to live with his Dad. I think it�s for the best, because I just need time, and because they are close and his Dad is sick and I�d like to see them spend as much time together right now as possible. I�m sure he�ll be bringing him over to my place daily to get a ride to school, so I�ll see him every morning for the normal jam session. He comes home tomorrow night at midnight. I can�t wait to see him. It�s been 2 weeks. A crazy 2 weeks, but a much needed break from everything. Life has felt completely surreal and calm despite all of this stuff.
Zoloft, I want to talk about this medicine I am on. It totally regulates my emotions but I still feel things, just not to the point of such total rawness that I once felt. I do however think that it affects my creativity and that scares me. That was my one thing I was always sure of. I suppose that time will tell. Also since I went into the higher dosage my tongue and lips get bouts of numbness. I don�t know what that is about. And I�m extremely thirsty all of the time.
Rick put his shelf up and spent a good bit of time organizing those lighters. They look rather kewl. I think its nice that he would immediately go buy a shelf and get them all straightened out. Now when I buy lighters I can buy them for Rick.
This morning on the phone husband kept referring to Rick as Richard this and Richard that. I finally said, �his name is RICK!�. I don�t know why that bothered me, but it did. I mean the guys nice enough to give me a place to live and husband thinks he should just do everything that he should have done in this split to make it easier on everyone. I don�t know�.it just irritates me to no end. He bailed on everything, and Rick should step in and help me move? Whatever. I can move myself if need be. I know Rick would help me in a heartbeat, and that�s kewl, I just hate how husband dumps his responsibilities if he can. Yes there are those that would argue that he�s no longer responsible for my moving, but those are the same people that would agree that it�s ok that he split the way he did with bills in the thousands of dollars for the utilities.
I�m so ready to be done moving and settled. I am sick of wearing the same 5 outfits and I want to cook dinner for Rick, I sorta owe him a few. I know he would say I don�t, but I want to.
Ok so this weekend�.hopefully move�spend some time with Bucky�hopefully eat some Chinese food, I�m dying for some Chinese food.
-PoeticaL
hot canvas
paint me a picture
that lasts
throughout
our every quiet storm
hold me when I�m
silent
you
only you calm me
you only
only you
keep me warm
