cluttering the net since 2001

"lacking oompth...don't buy it" - the truthful blurb

Sunday, Jun. 19, 2005

“I’m not the New Me” by Wendy McClure ß- worst book I’ve read in the last 5 years.  Easily.  Thankfully I have my receipt and tomorrow I will promptly take it back to B&N and they’ll let me because I’m their best customer.  I kept reading the book to the end just to be fair about my opinion and critique, because I believe before you say something sucks ass you should have at least read the entire thing!! 


Here’s the entire premise of the book…hell here’s the entire plot for you…save your money!!!!--ŕ  “I’m a fat girl because my Mother was a fat girl and we both ate ice cream like pigs, then one day I bought a cheap scale at a flea market and decided to go to Weight Watchers.  Then I decided to start an online journal about my fatness and low and behold I lost 25 lbs and then wait…I had a few boyfriends and they both left me and then I gained back about 10 lbs and decided that being fat was ok because what the hell someone was stupid enough to publish my book!


Also I have it on high authority that…well you know how all books include those blurbs by other famous authors that you might have read before and liked?  The ones that gush about the book you’re thinking about buying?  Well it’s mostly bullshit.  It’s mostly other people published by the same publishing house that happen to be friends of someone that knows the person who wrote the book you are holding.  So low and behold if you like Jennifer Weiner (and really who can’t like someone that writes chic lit books that aren’t officially called chic lit books because perhaps they are rather good considering chic lit books) and you see that she proclaims “A brave bittersweet look at weight, loss, and elusive happy endings.” on the cover of this book you might be fooled into buying it.  I have read a lot of books, quite a few memoirs…and trust me this is a book about a fat girl that loses 15 lbs in all and is jealous of a girl that actually succeeds and then she pretends by the end that she’s ok with being fat and not having the guy.  Paaalease.  Fat, manless and happy?  It’s like saying, while digging in your hand me down couch for change, that you thought you had all 5 numbers on your lottery ticket but you realize that you really didn’t want to win the lottery after all, and you just pick the lint off of your newfound change and pretend it’s ok….yah suuure.  If we could chose we’d all want to be loved and be thin and not necessarily in that order. 


Book…sucked.  Period.  Only good part was the funny Weight Watcher’s cards that can be mostly seen on the authors website for free.  Go see the free version and save your $14.00. 


There are a lot of people online that made their diet’s work…who achieved a goal.  Their stories would probably be much more interesting. I am not jealous of her having written a book and had it published.  If I pine away to be an author I am jealous of people like Richard Ford, Ian McEwan, Brett Easton Ellis, Douglas Coupland, Tod Goldberg, Nick Hornby, Joyce Maynard, Haruki Murakami, etc….just off the top of my head.  Want to read a great memoir?  I suggest A millon little pieces by James Frey.  Now there’s a story.


Over the last week I’ve also read C'est la Vie by Suzy Gershman and guess what?  It was ok.  I didn’t much like knowing about her old boyfriend needing Viagra to get it on and I didn’t care about her choice of outfits, restaurants and need to be socially accepted by the elite in Paris, but I was charmed by her descriptions of gaining an apartment and looking for a bed and sheets at an affordable price.  I think the book would have been better if she were a tad more honest about overcoming the loss of her husband.  I mean she didn’t ever once have a real true breakdown, at least not in text.  Come to think of it, I wouldn’t recommend this book either!  Blah….  I just looked at the cover of this book and Diane Johnson of “Le Divorce” fame provided the blurb…yah so what I didn’t like the movie made about her book either!!


I might not sound nice in my reviews but I will never tell you “Oh childbirth’s not that painful” like my Aunt did.  I never forgave her and I’d never tell you to buy a book if it just sucks.  I could never be a blurb provider if I didn’t actually read the entire book and believe in it.





1:10 a.m. ::
prev :: next